Monday 1 July 2013

Summer of Sport June 24-30

Monday

The week starts well with rumours that we're trying to re-sign Wes Morgan. It won't happen, but it temporarily gets my hopes up anyway. Also, Australia continued their mission to self-destruct entirely before the Ashes by sacking their coach Mickey Arthur and replacing him with Darren Lehmann. It seems so ridiculous that I have to feel to there is a cunning plan somewhere.

The start of Wimbledon today. Some pearls of wisdom coming from Tim Henman during the Federer-Hanescu match. "It could be very one-sided, but you never know." Now I'm a big fan of Tiger Tim, but in the commentary stakes he's more Shearer than Neville.

I know people were complaining about Rafa Nadal's seeding for Wimbledon but I didn't think it was because it was too high. Always a shame to see him knocked out early.

England drop the Compdog for their four day match against Essex. Clearly his strike rate was just too high for the selectors.

Tuesday

A wonderful day spent in the sun watching a dead game at Trent Bridge with pizza for lunch. After a day of mostly blocking apart from a bit of lusty Andre Adams hitting at the end, it was to the Oval where England lost by 5 runs again, this time to New Zealand in the most pointless series possibly ever seen. James Tredwell and Ravi Bopara, who had had excellent figures in the Champions Trophy, both saw their two overs go for 32 runs.

Wednesday

Something about Federer has always bugged me. I know he's won Wimbledon seven times but he does strut around in his creme jackets like he owns the place and trying to get the umpires to turn off hawk eye. So I was very pleased to see him hit a 90+ mph shot at his opponent Stakhovsky's head at 4-3 in the third set, nearly taking his opponent out with one hit. The glare which came afterwards was priceless. I wish we saw more of that from Fed .

Unfortunately for tournament officials, the final will have to be played in the next few days while there are still people standing. Or they will have to start the tournament again but play it with everyone injured. And while we talk about people slipping around, why not watch this (again) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=or_yD9kzQ_c

I feel sorry for the people on court two who had to listen to Sharapova play De Brito in what was a screamathon. Fair to say if you had a threesome with them you would need earplugs to get through it.

Thursday

Another great moment for Australia with their decision to clear captain James Horwill of stamping in the first Lions Test challenged by the IRB. At least on the pitch their cricketers were putting in a better effort against Somerset before rain came.

People complain that Test cricket can last five days and be a draw but isn't it the same in a way with a 120 minute football match without a single goal? Still, Italy v. Spain was a decent game and the penalties were outrageous. Pirlo is brilliant, he could make cleaning toilets look sexy.

Friday

Good to finally see some celebrities in the Royal Box. The Duchess of Cornwall is ok, but nothing can beat a bit of Geoffrey Boycott who, as one person put it, preferred centre court to be uncovered.

On the court, Laura Robson put in a controlled performance to move to the third round. Hours later, two more cricketers in Alastair Cook and Andrew Strauss were being interviewed at the tennis. The interviewer asked Cook about the problems hitting Australia and he straight batted the question back, saying England just ignore these things. Strauss, when asked the same question, said how he loved it and how funny it was, showing how people can speak much more freely when no longer playing sport.

Murray then completed the British double on centre court, let's hope he continues this form next week.

A lovely evening spent watching cricket on TV, cricket on my laptop, with another cricket commentary in the background and reading a cricket book. All at the same time.

Saturday

Clearly whoever was playing in the rugby on Saturday morning had been watching Kamran Akmal wicket-keeping or had butter on their fingers because the ball spent more time on the floor than to hand. The undoubted highlight must be George North taking out Israel Folau like a pick-up truck before dumping him to the floor (with care of course).

Any disappointment in the rugby was tempered by Laura Robson's comeback win over Marina Erakovic. The more we get to see of Laura, the better.

Clearly the Tour de France was getting confused by the Scotland football team, parking the bus. The Tour was boosted by Lance Armstrong's comments that only people on drugs can win it. Maybe Lance is just a little bitter that his cheating got caught. Only a theory.

Sunday

England begin their preparations for the Ashes with a warm-up game against Essex. Ravi Bopara won the toss, said it looked a lovely pitch to score runs on, then elected to bowl having had a word in his ear. Clearly Alastair Cook fancied getting the pads on.

Peter Andre Villas-Boas is quoted as saying he wants to quit coaching in the next ten years to take part in the Dakar rally (http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/tottenham-manager-andre-villas-boas-claims-2010008). I didn't realise AVB was renowned for his sense of humour.

A good if unspectacular day of sport. Runs for Graeme Swann and Tim Bresnan against Essex, Paul Casey registering a win at the Irish Open where all four Irish major winners missed the cut, a win for Mo Farah and a blow-up of tyres at Silverstone which seemed very similar to the plot of Cars 2 which I watched this week.

The problem Rory McIlroy has is he seems to spend more time taking on robots on the range than actually trying to win tournaments, as this excellent video showed http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ft2fLuz9mF0

Perhaps England's 2-2 draw against Brazil was a better result than people thought. Must make us one of the favourites for next year... Still, it's interesting to see Spain put in another poor performance after their win against Italy. After Barcelona's humiliation in the Champions League semi-finals have they finally been caught up?

Meanwhile...

Story of the week: Spain players robbed supposedly after playing strip poker http://www.101greatgoals.com/blog/spain-players-were-robbed-in-brazil-during-strip-poker-party-globoesporte/

Tweet of the week: US Soccer Guy - "Donny Simpson gets over his Mother Tulisa heartbreak by signing up for the Queens Power Rangers! #QPRfranchiseenhancement"

The George Osborne award for how to raise money goes to Macclesfield Town (until they scrapped it): http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/23065970

Ronaldinho endorses his club Atletico Mineiro's brand of condoms. It looks he will no longer be lobbing seaman from from 40 yards. Also, the comment on the article which stated: "Ronaldinho's face on anything is a good contraceptive." Well played.

Fifa, possibly the most successful dictatorship of the modern era, ignore protests going on Brazil and announce their champagne of the World Cup. You've got to hand it to them, not only do they ignore all criticism but they know how to rub it in your face as well.

Looks like Sylvain's been going the Distince http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4990139/Sylvain-Distin-says-hes-milkman-to-cheat-on-partner.html

Transfer rumour of the week: Manchester United to bid for Messi (no, seriously) http://www.101greatgoals.com/blog/the-worst-transfer-story-ever-man-united-set-to-swoop-for-messi-jeremy-butler-sunday-life/

Sport this week

Not a bad week. The possibility of the final Lions Test and then Murray v. Djokovic the following day could make it an unbelievable weekend.

Wimbledon will dominate this week, with the Tour de France in the background and the build up to the Ashes reaching new heights.

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