Sporting ironies

As a sportsman, I am accustomed to being at the bottom of the hierarchy, plumming the depths of sporting oblivion. I have participated in rugby sessions where contact is not allowed and in cricket matches where only wind balls would do. This blog, therefore, will attempt to give the perspective of a sporting enthusiast, who has had his large share of sporting failures mixed in with the occassional high which has only proceeded to give false hope of talent. It is written for the amusement of everyone, but will be appreciated most by those, who like me, grew up dreaming about being the next Wes Morgan. Or maybe that's just me!

Sporting ironies

What makes sport so compelling is its unpredictability. How is it that part-time footballers from New Zealand can play football at the World Cup and be the only unbeaten team, yet Ryan Giggs, the man voted Manchester United's best ever player, has never gone to one? How often does a player leave a club in the search of trophies, only to see his former club start winning and his new team struggle? Think of Michael Owen leaving Liverpool to go to Real Madrid, only to then see his former team mates go and produce that amazing comeback in Istanbul the season after.

For me, a self-confessed Forest supporter, there was a smug sense of satsifaction watching former favourite Kris Commons be part of a struggling team at Derby as he thought he was joining a bigger club. That was until he jumped ship again to go to Celtic, where he is again proving (annoyingly) what a good player he is.

Another good example is Chelsea, who spent £50 million on Fernando Torres who is yet to get off the mark, only to let Daniel Sturridge go out on loan to Bolton where he has scored 4 goals in 5 matches.

Despite this, football has recently been surpassed by cricket as the sport for unpredictability and irony. I am sure that I am not the only person who finds Ireland beating England at the World Cup a comical situation. One of their batsmen, Ed Joyce, is back playing for his home country after being discarded by England and most of their team have had experience playing for English counties. Man of the match Kevin o'Brien has played, albeit briefly, for Nottinghamshire and fast bowler William Boyd Rankin for Derbyshire and Warwickshire. Moreover, one of England's star batsmen, Eoin Morgan, is Irish by birth and used to represent his home country before switching allegiances to live his dream of playing Test cricket.

For fans of irony though, there was more to come in England's next match, when their team of mostly South-African born players pulled off a stunning comeback of their own to shock... South Africa. The victory was slightly tempered by the news that South African turned Englishman Kevin Pietersen has had to go home injured and miss the rest of the tournament. His replacement, though, is none other than Irishman turned Englishman Morgan, who had been injured himself. Right.

For England fans, the World Cup has been a serious test of nerves. A hard fought victory of the mighty Netherlands, was followed by a stunning tie against pre-tournament favourites and hosts, India. Then came that incredible defeat to Ireland, before an equally amazing turnaround against reknowned chokers South Africa. All we need now is for England to face Australia in the final and for Ricky Ponting to get run out again. That might not be classed as ironic, but it certainly would be funny.

The week to come

After Nicklas Bendtner finally lives up to his own hype and scores a hat trick to give Arsenal a seemingly unassailable 4 goal lead at the Nou Camp, Messi pops up to score 5 goals inside the last 10 minutes. In the post-match interview, Arsene Wenger praises the spirit of his team and blames the ref, the dodgy pitch and Barcelona's long-ball football for his side's defeat.

Spurs, on the other hand, are robbed by a ref who has been promised a 17 year old girl by Silvio Berlusconi for throwing the game. Gattuso, despite being suspended, comes out for the second half disguised as Robinho (who has continuously gone missing during the match.) He then proceeds to head-butt the entire Spurs team, paving the way for Pato to score the winner.

England are 100-0 in pursuit of Bangladesh's 109, only to collapse to 108-9. Fortunately, Eoin Morgan scores the winning runs, before announcing after the game that he is to represent Ireland for the rest of the tournament, with Kevin o'Brien to play for England instead. The ICC announce that they are to launch an investigation after bookies claim Salman Butt bet on this happening.