Another week of big footballing fixtures and once again we were given a striking master-class by a player who is feared right across Europe... but enough about Dele Adebola, who scored his 2nd goal in 2 weeks. In this blog, I will discuss why Michel Platini is wrong (as always), my part in Arsenal's defeat to Barcelona and what happened in my sporting week. Was my eagerly anticipated return to football a great success? Read on to find out...
5 officials is not better than 3
Five officials, we were told, would get 99% of decisions right. That was the verdict of Michel Platini, so of course we knew the complete opposite would happen. If confirmation was needed, then Tuesday night at the Nou Camp was all the proof we needed. One second was the time between the ref blowing his whistle and Van Persie shooting wide, yet apparently RVP had time to think about it and decide to time-waste. It takes Peter Crouch longer to touch his toes and that's without 95,000 screaming Catalans nearby. What this episode has shown is that you could have 20 officials, but if the man who counts is incompetent then it makes no difference. And as for the extra officials, what good are they? You stick a man with a flag in front of a stand full of home supporters and then you expect well-judged, fair decisions. Good one Michel.
Why Arsenal lost
As for the match itself, I have to take the blame for Fabregas' back heel after talking about irony in the last blog. It almost seems Cesc was disappointed about being upstaged by Xavi and Iniesta and decided to show his home fans what they can look forward to next season. Moreover, my prediction of a Bendtner hat-trick came back to bite me up the backside when the great Dane showed his killer instinct in front of goal. Arsenal fans should be worried with the news that their keeper for the next couple of months is... 3rd choice behind Fabianski and Szczesny. Not great for the CV that. This is the same Szczesny who dislocated a finger keeping out a routine free-kick and the same Fabianski who had to have shoulder surgery saving a Szczesny shot in training. And this guy is supposedly worse than them.
My week in sporting underachievement
After my long-awaited return to football, in the form of an indoor 5-a-side futsal tournament, it's fair to say that I didn't do myself justice. My attempt to be a Wes Morgan-like figure in defence ended up with me chasing shadows around the pitch, although that had a lot to do with the lighting! The worst moment came in the 2nd match, where I had the ball on the side and restarted play only to hear the ref say he wasn't ready. Then, instead of being given the ball back, the opposition decided to take it for themselves, and with all of our players out of position, they went and scored the winner. That just about summed up my day.
The week after, needing a big peformance to try and qualify for the semis, we managed to scramble together a team of half-injured and drunk players. Unsurprisingly, we managed to lose all our matches and I came off with two dodgy knees. Lucky I can't play next week, maybe the team will start to win in my absence.
Week one of a pool tournament and after a narrow loss to a guy just out of hospital and an unconvincing win against someone who potted the white more times than his own balls, I ended with a tie against Sam Neal. Sam had the biggest smile on his face and as it turned out the cue wasn't the only pointy object he'd been using over the last 24 hours (sorry that's the best euphemism I could think of). Unpeturbed, I racked up a four ball lead only to lose narrowly again. Overall, I think it's a toss up to decide who's had a worse last two weeks in sport... me or Arsenal?
The week ahead
The West Indies are 50-8 chasing down a total of 425 against England, only for numbers 9 and 10 score the runs with 10 overs remaining. The England team are so nackered that they fall asleep on the pitch and don't realise until a few hours later that they've actually lost. A few weeks later, Kevin Pietersen re-affirms his commitment to England, whilst on his way to the IPL.
England are 6 points down against Ireland in the Six Nations with 2 minutes to go. The Irish kick the ball out for a line-out and in their desperation, England use a different ball to score the winning try and conversion which seals the Grand Slam. A massive fight starts out on the pitch between the opposing players, resulting in a series of fines and bans. Not to be outdone, Neil Lennon and Ally McCoist organise their own boxing match for half-time during the Scottish League final the next day. Lennon is winning until some spit from El-Hadji Diouf gets in his eyes and momentarily blinds him, allowing McCoist to go on and land the winning pitch.
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