After receiving the prized possession of a mention in page 27 of last week's RedBrick (the University of Birmingham student newspaper), Sporting Underachiever is back for another look at all the failures in sport. After a couple of crazy weeks, everything went back to normal with England getting smashed at the World Cup and the footballers beating Wales. There is "insightful" analysis on this and also in this week's blog, find out how I fared at my uni accomodation's pool tournament and take a look at who the Flop(ianski) of the week is. I bet you can't wait...
The week in sport
After being called negative for thinking England scraping their way into the quarter-finals of the World Cup could be a bad thing, I was disappointed to be proved right. The Three Lions gave a typically underwhelming display with the bat, led by the normally impressive Andrew Strauss who played the sort of innings expected by me - lots of defensive shots before being bowled trying to play a dirty slog. England being England, they played the part-time spinners in ultra-defensive mode, like they were Murali, then played Murali like he was, well, Xavier Doherty.
The highlight of the match has to be Eoin Morgan's innings of 50 off 55 balls, which included three bad drops and being given not out LBW (a decision which was not reviewed) when it was actually out. The talk at the interval was that 230 was a competitive score, but then the Sri Lankan openers proved that the pitch was not a minefield, as England had made it appear, and cantered to victory inside 40 overs.
If England disappointing at a World Cup was to be expected, then South Africa's collapse against New Zealand was a dead cert. The Proteas have now lost five knockout matches in a row at World Cups, most famously in 1999 against Australia. The word 'choke' is branded around too easily these days, but watching AB de Villiers being run-out by his partner when in the form of his live was unsurprising, although if anyone was going to be run-out, then the heavy odds would have been on Jacques Kallis.
Elsewhere, this week saw wins for England and the Republic of Ireland in Euro 2012 qualifiers. Having seen England lose to Ireland twice recently, it was good to see things were back to normal as Wales reverted to type and spent 90 minutes offering no threat, except from Craig Bellamy who looked like he wanted to start a fight against Rooney. Personally, I would have loved to have seen that and I bet the whole crowd would have as well. My money would have been on Bellamy as he has had experience at this sort of thing (think back to his fight with team mate Kieron Dyer) whilst Rooney just acts like some petulant child. Hopefully Robbie Savage will be back for the rematch, just in case we need something to keep us entertained in case the football is boring.
In tennis, Novak Djokovic continued his incredible start to the season with his 18th consecutive victory to win the Indian Wells title at the expense of Rafa Nadal. As the new world number 2 ahead of the slowly fading force that is Roger Federer, Djokovic is doing what everyone hoped Andy Murray could do by replacing the Swiss as Nadal's main challenger for Grand Slams. Murray responded by losing to qualifiers in successive tournaments, but seeing as Nadal practically owns the French Open maybe this a cunning plan to peak just before Wimbledon, although Nadal is dominant there now. Maybe he's waiting for the US Open, or maybe he's just waiting for the Spaniard's knees to give way again.
My week in sport
BIG NEWS! I ACTUALLY WON SOMETHING! Admittedly it was a pool tournament of about 10 people where two of the best players had to pull out because they were working, but still, I take huge pride from this victory and as Roberto Mancini would be the first to admit, winning the first trophy is the most important, no matter what it is (although in his case it's partly to remove that banner at Old Trafford which tells him how long it was until City won something).
This victory was made all the sweeter as it was the first time I'd won something since a national chess tournament at the age of ten, where my style of total chess revolutionised the sport like Johann Cruyff''s Dutch team of the 70's did for football. So, watch out for Lamy domination on the pool circuit from now on and I look forward to spending my £20 Marks and Spencer Gift Card which came with from being first. Maybe this blog should be changed from Sporting Underachiever to Sporting Excellence. Or not.
Elsewhere this week, everything was back to normal with a series of long, painful runs through Birmingham in the heat, where I was struggling so badly that I was overtaken by most walkers who just stared in amusement at my efforts. With an awful case of stitch, it is often difficult to find the motivation to keep going, but when Miley Cyrus 'Can't Be Tamed' (wanna bet?) starts playing on my little ipod shuffle, I always find the extra energy from somewhere. The video isn't bad either, although it's not quite the same as Skepta's 'all over the house,' which contrary to popular belief I do not play all day on my laptop.
With the Fifa World Cup game having entered my flat for the rest of term, I decided to try my luck as New Zealand, to the derision of my block mates, Sam Oates and Jack Toop who were Spain. However, after a disappointing opening loss to Slovakia, I turned on the style to defeat Italy, Paraguay then Holland to reach the quarter-finals, where I faced Spain. With Jack having left, it was between me and Sam in the crunch game. After conceding early, a Rory Fallon-inspired comeback saw me lead 3-1 at half time, before going on to win 3-2 to book a place in the semis, where I lost in extra time to England. I know what you're thinking, how did England make it to the semis?
I tried some outdoors five-a-side football this week for the first time in a while. Having seen my team in the futsal tournament make the semis when I wasn't there (coincidence of course), I was determined to turn on the style, although I was completely outshined by the outrageous Sam Travell. After only a minute out of goal, he got on the end of a pass in the opposition's half, flicked it up and volleyed it in. Quality strike! After two hours of football, 'Trav' went to the gym then made his way to play hockey. I know this is a blog about sporting underachievement, but this daily effort of non-stop sport deserves special mention.
Flop(ianski) of the week
There were a lot of contenders this week for the dreaded flop(ianksi) of the week. The following teams just missed out for the following reasons:
The West Indies cricket team for being bowled out for 112, but this was against a Pakistan team who can do that to sides with their bowling attack when they get it right.
The England cricket team who also lost by 10 wickets, but were tired and were missing a lot of injured players.
The Wales football team, but let's face it, we were hardly surprised.
Andy Murray for losing again to a qualifier, although as this was on clay and it's not a Grand Slam, it's not that big a deal.
No, the winner this week is the South African cricket team for reasons explained above. How a team as good as them, who were 108-2 chasing a total of 222 to win against an average New Zealand side, can mess it up again is beyond me. I can't imagine how frustrating it must be for South Africans to see their team continue to choke under pressure, and coming from a Forest fan this is saying something.
Hall of Lame
Yes, this is the section dedicated to sporting failures from the past, starting with my own. Number 2 in my list takes me back to Year 7, where I managed to lose to my mates Fraser and Priyan at chess within a short space of time. Now this might not seem like such a big deal, but when you have won tournaments, been part of two teams who have won the National Schools' Championships and one who were runners-up as well as represented your country, then it is incredibly embarrassing to lose against two players who had barely ever played. In Priyan's case, I don't think he could tell a knight from a rook. Funnily enough, he's never asked for a rematch. Some would say he's scared, but not me.
The week ahead
West Brom beat Liverpool and Roy Hodgson goes up to the Liverpool directors and sticks two fingers up at them for getting rid of him. They respond by bringing out the Premier League table and pointing and laughing.
With 22 needed off the last ball, India beat Pakistan after a series of no-balls and wides. In the final they play Sri Lanka, who announce Murali will play on crutches during the match. Despite losing constant wickets, India win off the last ball, with one wicket left, with Tendulkar bringing up his 100th international century off the winning runs. For being as good as he is over such a long period of time and under such pressure, it's fair to say he deserves it.
Andy Murray hires John Terry as a motivational coach in a bid to turn around his slump in form, but has to get rid of him quickly after is seen snooping near his house when Murray is away on tour. As this is a failure, Muzza plays an exhibition match against Alex Bogdanovich in order to get some confidence back, but he somehow loses to Boggo, who is now the new big hope of British tennis and is given another wildcard for Wimbledon.
It is announced that Joel Lamy has become a pool pro, but after winning every match, he decides to retire to give some other people a chance of winning.
Quotes of the week
Harry Redknapp - 'Jose Mourinho is a great guy and a terrific manager.'
Jose Mourinho - 'Jose Mourinho is a great guy and a terrific manager.'
Gary Speed - 'Giggsy, please come back.'
Arsene Wenger - 'Jose Mourinho's a prick.'
Mario Balotelli - 'Who's Jose Mourinho?'
Gary Speed - 'Robbie, stop talking bollocks on the Match of the Day 2 and come and play for me. We are desperate.'
Sir Alex Ferguson - nothing
Rio Ferdinand - 'We are all behind John Terry, which is quite ironic considering why he lost the captaincy in the first place.'
Sunday 27 March 2011
Sunday 20 March 2011
Dramatic Champions League draw leaves everyone excited
The blog, like Arsene Wenger's optimism, which just won't go away
The past week
Champions League - big shock of the week, Chelsea didn't get the worst team left in the draw. However, they got off likely compared to Spurs who have the easy task of knocking out Real Madrid then (almost certainly) Barcelona, just to reach the final. I would lurve it if Spurs made it to the semis and started playing long ball to Peter Crouch at the Nou Camp. All Harry needs to do is ask Stoke for Rory Delap and they would be sorted. Can't believe nobody has though of trying that against Barca yet.
Just when you thought England's winter couldn't get any more dramatic, they go and pull out another last-ditch victory to keep their world cup place alive. At the time, the mood was extremely celebratory and I don't mind saying my St Patrick's Day celebrations started earlier as a result. However, once the euphoria had calmed down I began to think about possible quarter-final opponents and suddenly I was extremely pessimistic. Having stared at defeat, to now have raised hopes is the worst thing that could happen. How much worse will it be when England get smashed in the next round by Sri Lanka?
England, though, are well on top of the game and have decided to bulk up their number of South African-born players by calling up Surrey's Jade Dernbach. Perhaps this is the secret weapon to unsettle South Africa if both teams make it to the semis.
My sporting week
It's been a quieter week on the sporting week for myself. The attempt to get back into respectable shape was helped by a couple of hour long runs through the streets of Birmingham, followed by meals of Pizza and Burgers (oh well).
In the virtual football world (i.e. Fifa and Football Manager), I've started to turn things around. My first season with Hapoel Rishon LeZion, who play in the Israeli National League (the equivalent of the Championship) had taken a turn for the worse as I was near the bottom of the 16 team league. However, some inspired team changes have moved the team from 13th to 7th in only a few weeks and rumours that I was 1 game away from the sack have been proved wrong. If only I was managing Nottingham Forest, I'd have them in an automatic place in no time.
Flop(ianski) of the week
Mario Balotelli narrowly beat the England rugby team as the winner of the inaugural Flop(ianski) of the week for his red card against Dynamo Kiev and his inability to put on a bib. Now I know your average footballer is hardly Stephen Fry, but the incompetence shown by Balotelli makes me wonder who dresses him in the morning, and how much must they get paid?
Hall of Lame
For those who might be unsure, the Hall of Lame is the place where we celebrate the underachievers of sport. There will be a time to showcase the worst misses, own goals and general sporting mishaps in the coming weeks, but for the next fortnight, it is time to take some examples from my own life. Here we start the top 3 countdown.
3. F game cricket: Yes, that's right it does exist. I was in F game cricket, along with those who couldn't care less. For somebody who can actually enjoy watching Paul Collingwood bat 10 hours to save a match, this was a sporting humiliation too far. Fortunately, after several weeks of batting against pee-rollers and bowling against players with windballs, I was eventually moved up, but it took a long time.
The week ahead
The sporting week is taking a bit of a back seat in the next week, with the Six Nations finishing and the Champions League taking a quick breather. However, there is still plenty to look forward to...
Mario Balotelli does not turn up to the Italy camp and refuses to give an explanation why. It turns out he was unable to work his sat nav and had just sat in his car having a hissy fit until one of his neighbours walked by and reminded him he needed to turn it on first. When he got to the training ground, Balotelli told his manager that he had to leave because he was allergic to the paint in the dressing room.
England go in at half-time against Wales 1-0 up but John Terry does not come out for the second half. This is after half the team have found out that Terry has shagged their wives and girlfriends in the past week. Fabio Capello decides to once again strip Terry of the captaincy, gives it to Rio Ferdinand, then changes his mind after a week and hands it back to Terry. He tells the media it is because Terry is a changed man. In the match itself, Gareth Bale scores a stoppage time hat-trick to win the game for Wales who were 2-0 down.
The England Cricket team announce they have changed their sponsors to Bet 365 as all the bookies have made a ton of money from their matches. However, they have to cancel the deal after losing a large chunk of money to a mysterious businessman who bet £50,000 on Australia scoring 90 from the last 5 overs against Pakistan with 1 wicket left.
Quotes of the week
Arsene Wenger - 'We have listened to the criticism that we need a new keeper, which is why we decided to bring Jens back. We will now attempt to bring back Sol Campbell and Tony Adams.'
Sir Alex Ferguson - nothing
Carlo Ancelotti - 'I would like to thank the scouting team for finding me such a great striker. Unfortunately, they also wasted £50 million on Torres.'
Andrew Strauss, after his side's 312 run loss to Sri Lanka - 'We were fed of these close games.'
The past week
Champions League - big shock of the week, Chelsea didn't get the worst team left in the draw. However, they got off likely compared to Spurs who have the easy task of knocking out Real Madrid then (almost certainly) Barcelona, just to reach the final. I would lurve it if Spurs made it to the semis and started playing long ball to Peter Crouch at the Nou Camp. All Harry needs to do is ask Stoke for Rory Delap and they would be sorted. Can't believe nobody has though of trying that against Barca yet.
Just when you thought England's winter couldn't get any more dramatic, they go and pull out another last-ditch victory to keep their world cup place alive. At the time, the mood was extremely celebratory and I don't mind saying my St Patrick's Day celebrations started earlier as a result. However, once the euphoria had calmed down I began to think about possible quarter-final opponents and suddenly I was extremely pessimistic. Having stared at defeat, to now have raised hopes is the worst thing that could happen. How much worse will it be when England get smashed in the next round by Sri Lanka?
England, though, are well on top of the game and have decided to bulk up their number of South African-born players by calling up Surrey's Jade Dernbach. Perhaps this is the secret weapon to unsettle South Africa if both teams make it to the semis.
My sporting week
It's been a quieter week on the sporting week for myself. The attempt to get back into respectable shape was helped by a couple of hour long runs through the streets of Birmingham, followed by meals of Pizza and Burgers (oh well).
In the virtual football world (i.e. Fifa and Football Manager), I've started to turn things around. My first season with Hapoel Rishon LeZion, who play in the Israeli National League (the equivalent of the Championship) had taken a turn for the worse as I was near the bottom of the 16 team league. However, some inspired team changes have moved the team from 13th to 7th in only a few weeks and rumours that I was 1 game away from the sack have been proved wrong. If only I was managing Nottingham Forest, I'd have them in an automatic place in no time.
Flop(ianski) of the week
Mario Balotelli narrowly beat the England rugby team as the winner of the inaugural Flop(ianski) of the week for his red card against Dynamo Kiev and his inability to put on a bib. Now I know your average footballer is hardly Stephen Fry, but the incompetence shown by Balotelli makes me wonder who dresses him in the morning, and how much must they get paid?
Hall of Lame
For those who might be unsure, the Hall of Lame is the place where we celebrate the underachievers of sport. There will be a time to showcase the worst misses, own goals and general sporting mishaps in the coming weeks, but for the next fortnight, it is time to take some examples from my own life. Here we start the top 3 countdown.
3. F game cricket: Yes, that's right it does exist. I was in F game cricket, along with those who couldn't care less. For somebody who can actually enjoy watching Paul Collingwood bat 10 hours to save a match, this was a sporting humiliation too far. Fortunately, after several weeks of batting against pee-rollers and bowling against players with windballs, I was eventually moved up, but it took a long time.
The week ahead
The sporting week is taking a bit of a back seat in the next week, with the Six Nations finishing and the Champions League taking a quick breather. However, there is still plenty to look forward to...
Mario Balotelli does not turn up to the Italy camp and refuses to give an explanation why. It turns out he was unable to work his sat nav and had just sat in his car having a hissy fit until one of his neighbours walked by and reminded him he needed to turn it on first. When he got to the training ground, Balotelli told his manager that he had to leave because he was allergic to the paint in the dressing room.
England go in at half-time against Wales 1-0 up but John Terry does not come out for the second half. This is after half the team have found out that Terry has shagged their wives and girlfriends in the past week. Fabio Capello decides to once again strip Terry of the captaincy, gives it to Rio Ferdinand, then changes his mind after a week and hands it back to Terry. He tells the media it is because Terry is a changed man. In the match itself, Gareth Bale scores a stoppage time hat-trick to win the game for Wales who were 2-0 down.
The England Cricket team announce they have changed their sponsors to Bet 365 as all the bookies have made a ton of money from their matches. However, they have to cancel the deal after losing a large chunk of money to a mysterious businessman who bet £50,000 on Australia scoring 90 from the last 5 overs against Pakistan with 1 wicket left.
Quotes of the week
Arsene Wenger - 'We have listened to the criticism that we need a new keeper, which is why we decided to bring Jens back. We will now attempt to bring back Sol Campbell and Tony Adams.'
Sir Alex Ferguson - nothing
Carlo Ancelotti - 'I would like to thank the scouting team for finding me such a great striker. Unfortunately, they also wasted £50 million on Torres.'
Andrew Strauss, after his side's 312 run loss to Sri Lanka - 'We were fed of these close games.'
Sunday 13 March 2011
5 officials is pointless if the man in the middle is useless
Another week of big footballing fixtures and once again we were given a striking master-class by a player who is feared right across Europe... but enough about Dele Adebola, who scored his 2nd goal in 2 weeks. In this blog, I will discuss why Michel Platini is wrong (as always), my part in Arsenal's defeat to Barcelona and what happened in my sporting week. Was my eagerly anticipated return to football a great success? Read on to find out...
5 officials is not better than 3
Five officials, we were told, would get 99% of decisions right. That was the verdict of Michel Platini, so of course we knew the complete opposite would happen. If confirmation was needed, then Tuesday night at the Nou Camp was all the proof we needed. One second was the time between the ref blowing his whistle and Van Persie shooting wide, yet apparently RVP had time to think about it and decide to time-waste. It takes Peter Crouch longer to touch his toes and that's without 95,000 screaming Catalans nearby. What this episode has shown is that you could have 20 officials, but if the man who counts is incompetent then it makes no difference. And as for the extra officials, what good are they? You stick a man with a flag in front of a stand full of home supporters and then you expect well-judged, fair decisions. Good one Michel.
Why Arsenal lost
As for the match itself, I have to take the blame for Fabregas' back heel after talking about irony in the last blog. It almost seems Cesc was disappointed about being upstaged by Xavi and Iniesta and decided to show his home fans what they can look forward to next season. Moreover, my prediction of a Bendtner hat-trick came back to bite me up the backside when the great Dane showed his killer instinct in front of goal. Arsenal fans should be worried with the news that their keeper for the next couple of months is... 3rd choice behind Fabianski and Szczesny. Not great for the CV that. This is the same Szczesny who dislocated a finger keeping out a routine free-kick and the same Fabianski who had to have shoulder surgery saving a Szczesny shot in training. And this guy is supposedly worse than them.
My week in sporting underachievement
After my long-awaited return to football, in the form of an indoor 5-a-side futsal tournament, it's fair to say that I didn't do myself justice. My attempt to be a Wes Morgan-like figure in defence ended up with me chasing shadows around the pitch, although that had a lot to do with the lighting! The worst moment came in the 2nd match, where I had the ball on the side and restarted play only to hear the ref say he wasn't ready. Then, instead of being given the ball back, the opposition decided to take it for themselves, and with all of our players out of position, they went and scored the winner. That just about summed up my day.
The week after, needing a big peformance to try and qualify for the semis, we managed to scramble together a team of half-injured and drunk players. Unsurprisingly, we managed to lose all our matches and I came off with two dodgy knees. Lucky I can't play next week, maybe the team will start to win in my absence.
Week one of a pool tournament and after a narrow loss to a guy just out of hospital and an unconvincing win against someone who potted the white more times than his own balls, I ended with a tie against Sam Neal. Sam had the biggest smile on his face and as it turned out the cue wasn't the only pointy object he'd been using over the last 24 hours (sorry that's the best euphemism I could think of). Unpeturbed, I racked up a four ball lead only to lose narrowly again. Overall, I think it's a toss up to decide who's had a worse last two weeks in sport... me or Arsenal?
The week ahead
The West Indies are 50-8 chasing down a total of 425 against England, only for numbers 9 and 10 score the runs with 10 overs remaining. The England team are so nackered that they fall asleep on the pitch and don't realise until a few hours later that they've actually lost. A few weeks later, Kevin Pietersen re-affirms his commitment to England, whilst on his way to the IPL.
England are 6 points down against Ireland in the Six Nations with 2 minutes to go. The Irish kick the ball out for a line-out and in their desperation, England use a different ball to score the winning try and conversion which seals the Grand Slam. A massive fight starts out on the pitch between the opposing players, resulting in a series of fines and bans. Not to be outdone, Neil Lennon and Ally McCoist organise their own boxing match for half-time during the Scottish League final the next day. Lennon is winning until some spit from El-Hadji Diouf gets in his eyes and momentarily blinds him, allowing McCoist to go on and land the winning pitch.
5 officials is not better than 3
Five officials, we were told, would get 99% of decisions right. That was the verdict of Michel Platini, so of course we knew the complete opposite would happen. If confirmation was needed, then Tuesday night at the Nou Camp was all the proof we needed. One second was the time between the ref blowing his whistle and Van Persie shooting wide, yet apparently RVP had time to think about it and decide to time-waste. It takes Peter Crouch longer to touch his toes and that's without 95,000 screaming Catalans nearby. What this episode has shown is that you could have 20 officials, but if the man who counts is incompetent then it makes no difference. And as for the extra officials, what good are they? You stick a man with a flag in front of a stand full of home supporters and then you expect well-judged, fair decisions. Good one Michel.
Why Arsenal lost
As for the match itself, I have to take the blame for Fabregas' back heel after talking about irony in the last blog. It almost seems Cesc was disappointed about being upstaged by Xavi and Iniesta and decided to show his home fans what they can look forward to next season. Moreover, my prediction of a Bendtner hat-trick came back to bite me up the backside when the great Dane showed his killer instinct in front of goal. Arsenal fans should be worried with the news that their keeper for the next couple of months is... 3rd choice behind Fabianski and Szczesny. Not great for the CV that. This is the same Szczesny who dislocated a finger keeping out a routine free-kick and the same Fabianski who had to have shoulder surgery saving a Szczesny shot in training. And this guy is supposedly worse than them.
My week in sporting underachievement
After my long-awaited return to football, in the form of an indoor 5-a-side futsal tournament, it's fair to say that I didn't do myself justice. My attempt to be a Wes Morgan-like figure in defence ended up with me chasing shadows around the pitch, although that had a lot to do with the lighting! The worst moment came in the 2nd match, where I had the ball on the side and restarted play only to hear the ref say he wasn't ready. Then, instead of being given the ball back, the opposition decided to take it for themselves, and with all of our players out of position, they went and scored the winner. That just about summed up my day.
The week after, needing a big peformance to try and qualify for the semis, we managed to scramble together a team of half-injured and drunk players. Unsurprisingly, we managed to lose all our matches and I came off with two dodgy knees. Lucky I can't play next week, maybe the team will start to win in my absence.
Week one of a pool tournament and after a narrow loss to a guy just out of hospital and an unconvincing win against someone who potted the white more times than his own balls, I ended with a tie against Sam Neal. Sam had the biggest smile on his face and as it turned out the cue wasn't the only pointy object he'd been using over the last 24 hours (sorry that's the best euphemism I could think of). Unpeturbed, I racked up a four ball lead only to lose narrowly again. Overall, I think it's a toss up to decide who's had a worse last two weeks in sport... me or Arsenal?
The week ahead
The West Indies are 50-8 chasing down a total of 425 against England, only for numbers 9 and 10 score the runs with 10 overs remaining. The England team are so nackered that they fall asleep on the pitch and don't realise until a few hours later that they've actually lost. A few weeks later, Kevin Pietersen re-affirms his commitment to England, whilst on his way to the IPL.
England are 6 points down against Ireland in the Six Nations with 2 minutes to go. The Irish kick the ball out for a line-out and in their desperation, England use a different ball to score the winning try and conversion which seals the Grand Slam. A massive fight starts out on the pitch between the opposing players, resulting in a series of fines and bans. Not to be outdone, Neil Lennon and Ally McCoist organise their own boxing match for half-time during the Scottish League final the next day. Lennon is winning until some spit from El-Hadji Diouf gets in his eyes and momentarily blinds him, allowing McCoist to go on and land the winning pitch.
Tuesday 8 March 2011
Sporting ironies
As a sportsman, I am accustomed to being at the bottom of the hierarchy, plumming the depths of sporting oblivion. I have participated in rugby sessions where contact is not allowed and in cricket matches where only wind balls would do. This blog, therefore, will attempt to give the perspective of a sporting enthusiast, who has had his large share of sporting failures mixed in with the occassional high which has only proceeded to give false hope of talent. It is written for the amusement of everyone, but will be appreciated most by those, who like me, grew up dreaming about being the next Wes Morgan. Or maybe that's just me!
Sporting ironies
What makes sport so compelling is its unpredictability. How is it that part-time footballers from New Zealand can play football at the World Cup and be the only unbeaten team, yet Ryan Giggs, the man voted Manchester United's best ever player, has never gone to one? How often does a player leave a club in the search of trophies, only to see his former club start winning and his new team struggle? Think of Michael Owen leaving Liverpool to go to Real Madrid, only to then see his former team mates go and produce that amazing comeback in Istanbul the season after.
For me, a self-confessed Forest supporter, there was a smug sense of satsifaction watching former favourite Kris Commons be part of a struggling team at Derby as he thought he was joining a bigger club. That was until he jumped ship again to go to Celtic, where he is again proving (annoyingly) what a good player he is.
Another good example is Chelsea, who spent £50 million on Fernando Torres who is yet to get off the mark, only to let Daniel Sturridge go out on loan to Bolton where he has scored 4 goals in 5 matches.
Despite this, football has recently been surpassed by cricket as the sport for unpredictability and irony. I am sure that I am not the only person who finds Ireland beating England at the World Cup a comical situation. One of their batsmen, Ed Joyce, is back playing for his home country after being discarded by England and most of their team have had experience playing for English counties. Man of the match Kevin o'Brien has played, albeit briefly, for Nottinghamshire and fast bowler William Boyd Rankin for Derbyshire and Warwickshire. Moreover, one of England's star batsmen, Eoin Morgan, is Irish by birth and used to represent his home country before switching allegiances to live his dream of playing Test cricket.
For fans of irony though, there was more to come in England's next match, when their team of mostly South-African born players pulled off a stunning comeback of their own to shock... South Africa. The victory was slightly tempered by the news that South African turned Englishman Kevin Pietersen has had to go home injured and miss the rest of the tournament. His replacement, though, is none other than Irishman turned Englishman Morgan, who had been injured himself. Right.
For England fans, the World Cup has been a serious test of nerves. A hard fought victory of the mighty Netherlands, was followed by a stunning tie against pre-tournament favourites and hosts, India. Then came that incredible defeat to Ireland, before an equally amazing turnaround against reknowned chokers South Africa. All we need now is for England to face Australia in the final and for Ricky Ponting to get run out again. That might not be classed as ironic, but it certainly would be funny.
The week to come
After Nicklas Bendtner finally lives up to his own hype and scores a hat trick to give Arsenal a seemingly unassailable 4 goal lead at the Nou Camp, Messi pops up to score 5 goals inside the last 10 minutes. In the post-match interview, Arsene Wenger praises the spirit of his team and blames the ref, the dodgy pitch and Barcelona's long-ball football for his side's defeat.
Spurs, on the other hand, are robbed by a ref who has been promised a 17 year old girl by Silvio Berlusconi for throwing the game. Gattuso, despite being suspended, comes out for the second half disguised as Robinho (who has continuously gone missing during the match.) He then proceeds to head-butt the entire Spurs team, paving the way for Pato to score the winner.
England are 100-0 in pursuit of Bangladesh's 109, only to collapse to 108-9. Fortunately, Eoin Morgan scores the winning runs, before announcing after the game that he is to represent Ireland for the rest of the tournament, with Kevin o'Brien to play for England instead. The ICC announce that they are to launch an investigation after bookies claim Salman Butt bet on this happening.
Sporting ironies
What makes sport so compelling is its unpredictability. How is it that part-time footballers from New Zealand can play football at the World Cup and be the only unbeaten team, yet Ryan Giggs, the man voted Manchester United's best ever player, has never gone to one? How often does a player leave a club in the search of trophies, only to see his former club start winning and his new team struggle? Think of Michael Owen leaving Liverpool to go to Real Madrid, only to then see his former team mates go and produce that amazing comeback in Istanbul the season after.
For me, a self-confessed Forest supporter, there was a smug sense of satsifaction watching former favourite Kris Commons be part of a struggling team at Derby as he thought he was joining a bigger club. That was until he jumped ship again to go to Celtic, where he is again proving (annoyingly) what a good player he is.
Another good example is Chelsea, who spent £50 million on Fernando Torres who is yet to get off the mark, only to let Daniel Sturridge go out on loan to Bolton where he has scored 4 goals in 5 matches.
Despite this, football has recently been surpassed by cricket as the sport for unpredictability and irony. I am sure that I am not the only person who finds Ireland beating England at the World Cup a comical situation. One of their batsmen, Ed Joyce, is back playing for his home country after being discarded by England and most of their team have had experience playing for English counties. Man of the match Kevin o'Brien has played, albeit briefly, for Nottinghamshire and fast bowler William Boyd Rankin for Derbyshire and Warwickshire. Moreover, one of England's star batsmen, Eoin Morgan, is Irish by birth and used to represent his home country before switching allegiances to live his dream of playing Test cricket.
For fans of irony though, there was more to come in England's next match, when their team of mostly South-African born players pulled off a stunning comeback of their own to shock... South Africa. The victory was slightly tempered by the news that South African turned Englishman Kevin Pietersen has had to go home injured and miss the rest of the tournament. His replacement, though, is none other than Irishman turned Englishman Morgan, who had been injured himself. Right.
For England fans, the World Cup has been a serious test of nerves. A hard fought victory of the mighty Netherlands, was followed by a stunning tie against pre-tournament favourites and hosts, India. Then came that incredible defeat to Ireland, before an equally amazing turnaround against reknowned chokers South Africa. All we need now is for England to face Australia in the final and for Ricky Ponting to get run out again. That might not be classed as ironic, but it certainly would be funny.
The week to come
After Nicklas Bendtner finally lives up to his own hype and scores a hat trick to give Arsenal a seemingly unassailable 4 goal lead at the Nou Camp, Messi pops up to score 5 goals inside the last 10 minutes. In the post-match interview, Arsene Wenger praises the spirit of his team and blames the ref, the dodgy pitch and Barcelona's long-ball football for his side's defeat.
Spurs, on the other hand, are robbed by a ref who has been promised a 17 year old girl by Silvio Berlusconi for throwing the game. Gattuso, despite being suspended, comes out for the second half disguised as Robinho (who has continuously gone missing during the match.) He then proceeds to head-butt the entire Spurs team, paving the way for Pato to score the winner.
England are 100-0 in pursuit of Bangladesh's 109, only to collapse to 108-9. Fortunately, Eoin Morgan scores the winning runs, before announcing after the game that he is to represent Ireland for the rest of the tournament, with Kevin o'Brien to play for England instead. The ICC announce that they are to launch an investigation after bookies claim Salman Butt bet on this happening.
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