Season predictions time

After more than two months of the summer and wondering what if Rob Eanshaw hadn't hit the post, it's finally time to say welcome back to league football. As it is every year, we pin our hopes high on somehow achieving promotion, only to start with a 0-0 (as we always seem to do).

In this edition, we have season predictions from our three pundits and I will introduce a weekly contest which will keep you engrossed (and warm) through the winter months. If that isn't enough, we have the usual random chat to try and keep you amused. I hope you enjoy!

Everybody...

wants to leave Newcastle. First it was Jose Enrique and now Joey Barton has forced his way out after he as well used twitter to slag off the management. Funnily enough they are going to ban it now. Barton decided to tell us that he was being allowed to leave, then was training by himself, then was being fined two weeks wages. But he decided to take it out on us by giving us a philosophy lesson on twitter. Apparently, not putting out a cigar in somebody's eye wasn't something he thought about sharing with us.

Everybody...
hates living in Manchester. First we had Carlos 'I wouldn't go there on holiday' Tevez slagging it off, then we had Mairo Balotelli complaining about it (although I believe his comments were taken out of context). Nemanja Vidic also said how it rained a lot when he first arrived here. Maybe that's why Sir Alex Ferguson is always scowling then.

Stoke City... have declared their interest in signing Nicklas Bendtner. In other news, the odds on them being relegated have dramatically shortened.

2:30pm... "Can't wait for the new season to begin." Safe to say I wasn't feeling as optimistic after the match, although the first game back doesn't really tell you anything.

One thing I would just like to point out is: West Ham - Carew, Leicester - Nugent, Forest - McGoldrick. Just saying.

Hall of Lame

Worst opening day defeat? Look no further than two years ago. Norwich City 1-7 Colchester.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xvxi4FDZYRs

Would have been funny if they weren't now a division above Forest.

Ben Foster - Flop of the week
"At the moment, I play my club football, I go home and have time with my family. That's absolutely brilliant. That's how I operate best as a footballer.

"But if something does happen to Joe [Hart], and the manager gives me a call and says 'we're desperate for you to come back in' then I can consider it. I can always consider it."

So basically, you retired from playing for your country because you were fed up of being a number 2, but if suddenly the guy who is better than you gets hurt you think it's fine to just rock up and play. Let us hope Joe Hart never gets injured or dropped then.

Goal-less wonders

Congratulations to the England under-20s who epitomised the art of sexy football by qualifying for the knock-out stages of their World Cup... without a goal being scored in any of their matches. They've been following the Paraguay school of how to win without actually winning, or if Carlsberg did 0-0s...

Fifa joy

I'd gone three weeks without playing on Fifa due to being away, but I returned with the season in February and my bid for Premier League glory hitting a stumbling block. I got through to May, and after a 4-4 draw against Manchester United, I went into the final match against Manchester City, who were 3 points above me, but with an inferior goal difference, knowing I could clinch the title by winning at their stadium.

To say the match was dramatic would be an understatement. An early goal for me was cancelled out soon after. Into the second half, City piled on the pressure, hitting the woodwork, before Carlos Tevez went through on goal, only to be denied by Shay Given (who I signed from them). After the save, I went straight to the other end and scored through Manfredini (a 200lbs beastly black man) to make it 2-1.

Then in stoppage time, City hit the beans on toast (the post) and aftet a mad scramble in the box I somehow got the ball clear and the ref blew his whistle for full-time. Incredibly, as I celebrated my famous victory (which goes down alongside Arsenal's 2-0 win over Liverpool in 1989), I saw the City players were celebrating and mine look dejected. I was fearing the worst, but once the match was finished I checked the table and saw I had indeed come first. Somehow.

Season predictions
Here are the predictions of our three "pundits" this year: myself, Richard 'Dick' Ayling and Fraser 'Pub Quiz' Kesteven. We will reveal the winner at the end of the season, although I may give updates at certain intervals.

As for the points system, there's 1 point for a correct answer. For those where there is one more than answer (e.g. 3 relegated teams) then it is 1 point per correct team and for guessing a number (e.g. number of Torres goals) then it is closest who wins. League goals only.


Premier League winner:
JL: Man U
FK: Man U
RA: Man U

Rest of top 4:
JL: Man City, Chelsea, Liverpool
FK: Chelsea, Man City, Arsenal
RA: Chelsea, Man City, Arsenal

Relegated teams:
JL: Norwich, Wigan, Swansea
FK: Norwich, Wigan, Swansea
RA: Norwich, Wigan, Swansea

Top goal-scorer:
JL: Rooney
FK: Rooney
RA: Rooney

Number of Fernando Torres goals:
JL: 10
FK: 15
RA: 10

Number of Mario Balotelli goals:
JL: 12
FK: 10
RA: 6

Number of Emile Heskey goals:
JL: 4
FK: 1
RA: 3

Number of games Arsenal let a lead slip:
JL: 6
FK: 4
RA: 6

Norwich overall goal-difference:
JL: -15
FK: -28
RA: -21

First managerial casualty:
JL: Alex McLeish
FK: Neil Warnock (JL - hope he's right)
RA: Steve Kean

FA Cup winner:
JL: Spurs
FK: Chelsea
RA: Chelsea

League Cup winner:
JL: Liverpool
FK: Man U
RA: Man City

Champions League winner:
JL: Real Madrid
FK: Barcelona
RA: Barcelona

Europa League winner:
JL: PSG
FK: Liverpool (JL - should be docked a point for being ignorant)
RA: Sevilla

Top 2 in Championship:
JL: West Ham, Leicester
FK: West Ham, Leicester
RA: West Ham, Leicester

Forest overall position:
JL: 5th
FK: 5th
RA: 4th

Forest top scorer:
JL: Lewis McGugan
FK: Marcus Tudgay
RA: Robbie Findley

Dele Adebola goals:
JL: 3
FK: 1
RA: 3

Nathan Tyson goals:
JL: 10 (I'm relying on him playing 30 games otherwise this will be wrong)
FK: 4
RA: 2

League 1 winner:
JL: Huddersfield
FK: Carlisle (JL - who were beaten 3-0 at home by Notts County. Fraser should definitely be docked a point now)
RA: Huddersfield

League 2 winner:
JL: Shrewsbury
FK: Northampton
RA: Crawley

Blue Square Prem winner:
JL: Luton
FK: Cambridge (JL - Cramp would be happy)
RA: Luton

And there's more...
As we can't wait until May to see who's the Messi and Bramble of footballing knowledge, we will have a weekly contest. Let me introduce you to:

The Tipster v. The Selly Oak Tramp
We know who the tipster is (Sam Travell), but how will his knowledge be tested against the anonymous tramp? Will the man with the betting know-how emerge triumphant, or will the SOT surprise us all and make Travell look village?

This will be a contest which involves all sports, so some weeks neither will win and on other occasions there will be more than one point available. The victor will be crowned (not literally) in May.

As it's the first week, we will give both players a chance to get on the score-board. The questions are:

What will be the result of the third Test match at Edgbaston?

Tipster: India
Tramp: England

Who will win the final golf major of the year?

Tipster: McIlroy
Tramp: Westwood

Who will be the first try scorer in the England v. Wales match?

Tipster: Whoever plays full-back (JL - will allow this for once because anybody could be playing)
Tramp: Banahan

And the one we all want to know...
How many bogeys will Tiger Woods hit?*

Tipster: 13
Tramp: 11

*Double bogeys only count as 1

P.S. Because of return to Birmingham this evening, the blog was completed on Saturday evening, so anything which happened today has had to be ignored. Hopefully, there is electricity in my house but either way I will get the blog out next week in some capacity. I apologise of course.