For football lovers everywhere it's been another exciting week, with Champions League, Premier League, FA Cup, Football League and Clasicos all for us to enjoy (unless you support Chelsea, Spurs or Arsenal). And the excitement has only just begun...
The past week
It is often said that footballers are a dumb bunch and it is hard to disagree with this assessment as for every Clarke Carlisle, we get an Emmanuel Eboue. Arsenal have been called pioneers of passing football in this country, but they have also taken cock-ups to a whole new level. From this season alone, we have the surrender of a 4-0 lead against Newcastle, the last minute defensive mix-up which cost them the Carling Cup and Fabregas' back-heel against Barcelona. But they must be the first team in history to take the lead in the 98th minute of a match and still not win. Liverpool had 2 efforts on goal after Van Persie's penalty, but clearly Arsenal are so scared of success that they had to give away a penalty when Lucas was running away from their goal. Whether it was a penalty or not, and I certainly was not convinced by Lucas' theatrics, to say Eboue was naive pushing him in the back would be like saying Mario Balotelli is a bit eccentric.
However, Liverpool have only gone and handed their great rivals, Man United, their 19th League title which allows them to become the most successful English club in history. Maybe the Liverpool supporters should bare that in mind as they (along with supporters from Manchester, Stoke and Bolton) made the long journey up north.
As has been pointed out on Facebook this week, Fernando Torres has beaten David Blaine's record for doing nothing in a box. However, he finally found the back of the net this weekend against Wigan, before finding out he was offside. If Torres has the record for being the most expensive flop in footballing history, then Balotelli must be up there as the most annoying. Were he to put as much effort into scoring as he does throwing darts, then he would be a half-decent player, which says a lot for Edin Dzeko. He was replaced by a player who was substituted against Liverpool despite having already come on to replace the injured Carlos Tevez. A substitute being substituted, now where have we heard that before? Emmanuel?
And the Oscar this week goes to... the Barcelona and Real Madrid teams who did a great job re-enacting a World War 1 film. The first of 4 clasicos in 18 days started off dirty, before escalating into a full-on physical battle, which at the end saw Villa and Messi continually on the floor in off the ball incidents. The worst offenders were Sergio Busquets and, of course, Cristiano Ronaldo, but the show is always stolen one man. Jose Mourinho didn't say much before the match as he shunned journalists at his press conference, causing a mass walk-out, but he had said before that he expected to end with 10 men because the refs are always biased against his side. So it was no surprise that Raul Albiol got sent off in the second half, even though it was as clear a penalty and a red as you are likely to see. Hopefully the remaining 3 matches will be just as compelling and that Mourinho fails to bully refs into giving his side favourable decisions (like the penalty they were were rewarded last match).
It is difficult to be cruel when talking about a 21-year-old sportsman and I will resist any attempts to criticise Rory McIlroy for his collapse on the back 9 at Augusta. But those who hailed his resilience in going half way across the world to play in a tournament the week after, should not be so quick with their praise as young Rory blew a 3 shot lead to lose out to 18-year-old Matteo Manasserro. Hopefully this is not a sign of things to come, but for once, his age can't be used as an excuse.
Flop(ianski) of the week
For anyone to beat Emmanuel Eboue to this award would have had to have done something spectacularly bad. If he isn't sold in the summer, along with that other flop Nicklas Bendtner, then Arsenal might as well not bother competing next season for any trophy.
Hall of Lame
As the Masters finished last weekend, it is only fitting to look back at one of golf's worst chokes. Jean van de Velde was 3 strokes clear going into the 72nd hole of the 1999 Open at Carnoustie. What happened next is legendary, if for all the wrong reasons. He shot a triple bogey and then lost a playoff to Paul Lawrie. I take no joy in seeing somebody collapse like this, even if he is French, but for those who do, here is evidence of that fatal collapse. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dR1pkCGY80
However, this week saw a PGA tour record as Kevin Na hit 16 on a par 4, as he hit the ball into the trees twice before taking a number of shots to get the ball out. Yet somehow, he hit 3 under on the back 9 which takes some doing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQpjnz_PuGU
The week ahead
After United lose at Newcastle, who come back from 5-0 down, Arsenal find themselves with a chance to close the gap once more. And they are 1-0 up going into injury time and have a penalty. Amazingly, Eboue takes the penalty, hits the post, then Gareth Bale gets the ball and runs the length of the pitch before being taken out by Jens Lehmann, who has been recalled. Peter Crouch misses the penalty, but it is then re-taken after encroachment by Koscielny and is scored second time. Arsene Wenger refuses to blame his side.
Real Madrid win the Copa del Rey after the referee sends off 3 Barcelona players. Mourinho, however, is still not happy and accuses the ref of being a Catalan spy, even though his surname is di Stefano.
Torres finally scores... in his own net.
Quotes of the week
Take your pick out of Mourinho, Wenger and Fergie: 'The ref is: useless/biased/unfit/a woman who doesn't understand the offside rule.'
Carlo Ancelotti: 'This is not a good time for Fernando, but Ashley and John are going to give him some tips as they know how to score on a Saturday night.'
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