In a rare blog, with only two more likely to ever appear, I
take a look back at some of the many sporting events which have taken place
over the past couple of months. At the heart of this will be the Olympics and
later on I have given a few suggestions to how it could be improved for Rio in
four years with some sports changed and others introduced.
And, of course, the start of the football season means
predictions' time, which means a four-way battle in one house for sporting
supremacy…
My sporting summer:
Wow, what to say about an entire summer of sport which began
with rain decimating county cricket, Spain retaining the Euros, Nadal and
Federer reigning supreme in Paris and London, before the great Olympic Games… and
the cricketing calendar ruined by rain.
It would be impossible to truly describe how this summer of
sport has kept me entertained, but anyone who has seen the Facebook photo of me
watching football on TV and cricket, tennis and rugby on laptops all at the
same time would get an idea. On that same day I had already watched two rugby matches and there was another football match in the evening. It was truly one of the great days in sporting TV history.
With the football season upon us once again, here is a
little reminder of that summer, where
we cheered, groaned, swore at the TV and possibly (although
not me) cried at what we were seeing in front of us. Or in the case of Andy
Murray, crying at the brilliance of Roger Federer…
The great summer – rain
had thwarted all attempts to make it to Trent Bridge to watch
Nottinghamshire in action, it prevented me watching any tennis at Edgbaston
(although Redbrick Sport got an
interview with Laura Robson) and it reduced me to just a couple of overs of a
Twenty20 match at Edgbaston.
The IPL had left me drained of fluid due to its great
hitting, but like a true armchair champion I re-hydrated and prepared myself
for the next round. England v. West
Indies was pretty tame stuff, with England proving strong enough and
too consistent to triumph. Edgbaston hosted the 3rd Test which saw
the first two days rained off (a recurrent theme with a one-day international
against Australia also being abandoned) although it still provided us with a couple
of quality moments; Tino Best, a man best known for being sledged by Andrew
Flintoff (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fl1rHQj7P5c)
was out five runs short of becoming the first number 11 in Test history to
score a century.
Denesh Ramdin provided one of the comedy moments of the
summer when he hit his second Test hundred and responded to past criticism from
legendary Windies batsman Sir Viv Richards by bringing out a note which read:
“Yea Viv talk nah.” It is still unconfirmed whether his 20% fine afterwards was
for unsatisfactory conduct or poor spelling. Either way, Ramdin having a go at Viv is like me picking a fight with an Olympic weightlifter.
My first live action came in the Twenty20 international
between the two sides where Nottinghamshire youngster Alex Hales hit 99 before
being bowled on his home ground with victory all but assured. Having seen what
Chris Gayle did in the IPL I was not pleased when he got out cheaply. I always
support England ,
but give me a Gayle century and a box of tissues any day.
As England
battled valiantly against South Africa
in the rugby, Scotland
defeated Australia and New Zealand toyed with Ireland , the
Euros began with all the talk about racism in Ukraine . The opening match was
between Poland and Greece and proved to be a classic 1-1 before Russia stuffed Czech Republic .
Incredibly, Russia
didn’t make it through to the quarter-finals and they will still be wondering
now what on earth happened.
Ronaldo threatened to be the biggest one man team since,
well, Robin van Persie with Arsenal, although that may not be the case next
season. Van Persie scored a scorcher for the Dutch, but missed a host of
chances as they went crashing out. Ronaldo, meanwhile, in the words of Garry
Cook (and Sam Price) “bottled it” by not taking a penalty as the Portuguese were knocked out
by the Spanish.
But let’s be honest, the defining moment and image was Mario
Balotelli after his second goal in the semi-finals against Germany . It was
like him saying, “hey everybody, come and see how good I look.”
And in the final, well things got a bit messy.
ITV may once again re-enforced their reputation as having
the worst football coverage in history, but they redeemed themselves a bit by
putting on the IPL followed by the French
Open. We had Murray
injuring himself then making it through to the quarter-finals, Djokovic and
Federer coming from two sets behind to win matches at the same time, with the
Serb even saving four match points against Jo-Wilfried Tsonga who must be the
most popular Frenchman around if not ever. After feasting on two weeks of sublime tennis, I
was pleased to see Nadal triumph once again, not that he had things go all his
way at Wimbledon …
Nobody had heard of Lukas Rosol before that thrilling night
when he stunned the Spaniard with some ridiculous serving and hitting, before
being dumped out in the next round. Murray
came through a tough draw and some even tougher interviews to make it to the
final.
Here is a typical Murray
interview moments after he has won his match:
Interviewer (normally Garry Richardson): So you won today.
Interviewer: Clearly you played well, I really thought your
backhand was in good order.
Interviewer: You must be pleased with winning?
Interviewer: Thank you Andy, great to talk to you.
It’s fair to say Australia
haven’t had the best summer, with Adam Scott blowing the lead at the Open with
four straight bogeys, Australia getting stuffed 4-0 in a one-day international
series against England, and then the embarrassment of the Olympics.
This is the same country who had no men (and only one woman)
into the second round of Wimbledon since 1938.
Their rugby team even lost at home to Scotland this summer! And their
cricketers will return to England
next summer looking for their first series win here since 2001 and trying to
overturn their 3-1 Ashes defeat where they suffered three innings defeats.
During the Olympics, their 4x100m freestyle swimming team,
dubbed the 'Weapons of Mass Destruction', failed to win a medal despite being
world champions. Their cyclists were blitzed in the Velodrome (with their one
gold coming in controversial circumstances) and overall they finished 10th
in the medal table, 30 medals and 22 golds behind Team GB. Australia are a proud sporting
nation and will get better soon, but for the meantime let’s enjoy their
failures.
The Olympics were
the pinnacle for me this summer. My Olympic experience began really on the
first Saturday, where I camped in my house with one sport on the TV and another
on my laptop for a good 12 hours. Every spare moment was feasting on this
sporting extravaganza and my only disappointment is that I didn’t have five
screens side-by-side to watch as much as possible.
When people talk about Olympic sports they always seem to
choose the archery as the one which is deemed the most boring. But I’m
telling you now, archery is a great watch. The one-on-one knockout matches, the
tension between each shot when the competitors are drawing their arrows, and
the drama when it comes down to needing a 10 on the last go to seal the win.
Add in Eddie Butler’s great commentary and Lord’s as the setting and you are on
to a winner.
Other honourable mentions for fun Olympic sports must go to table tennis and
rhythmic gymnastics.
Having applied for a few tickets I was glad that my beach
volleyball tickets came through. That meant two quarter-finals between Czech Republic
and the USA – starting at
10pm - followed by Brazil
against Germany .
The evening began with the 100m final being put on the big screen and once we
had watched Usain Bolt dominate it was time for the main action to begin.
Although positioned fairly high up, there was always a good atmosphere and the
sets were really close and exciting. In the end USA
and Brazil
won and the 85% male-dominated crowd went home happy with what they had seen.
I could go on and on about the achievements of many athletes
during the Games, but you can read about that anywhere. All I will say is,
whoever put One Direction and Russell Brand in the closing ceremony deserve a
slap.
So, after all that great entertainment it looks like things
will quieten down now won’t they? Wrong. If Rory McIlroy’s procession at the
USPGA wasn’t enough to inspire you, here are a few events in the next month to
get you going:
Premier League/Football League – August 18
US Open – August 27
Paralympics – August 29
Final round of County
Championship – September
11
T20 World Cup – September 18
Ryder Cup – September 28
And for golf lovers out there, a video which I think you
will enjoy
The climax to the England
and South Africa
series will be an interesting one. England will probably lose without
Kevin Pietersen. Well, according to Kevin Pietersen anyway. The only good thing
about the whole saga surrounding his place in the side is watching Piers Morgan
get slated by people in the game who know much more than him.
Credit to Stuart Broad though for convincing the ECB that he
didn’t know the guy behind the parody KP account despite him being one of his
mates. That’s almost on a par as Mike Ashley getting away for downing a pint in
the stands which was apparently non-alcoholic. How he pulled that one off I
will never know.
Rio 2016 – Olympic
watch
As great as the Olympics have been, occasionally some of the
sports can get a bit boring. Having spoken to a few people on Twitter and at
work, here are a few suggestions which have come up to enliven a certain number
of the sports at the Games:
Walking – I’ve
always been fascinated by the walking just for the plain reason that I cannot
understand how anyone would ever want to complete in it. Everyone wants
to say they are the fastest man in the world, or fastest over a certain
distance, and some want to prove they have the best stamina. But who wants to
say they can walk the quickest? What makes people get into competitive walking?
How do you train for this event? And do these people ever miss a train or
bus?
To make it a bit more interesting I think they should allow
the walkers a 20 minute head-start before letting free some snakes. That way,
the viewers can watch the tantalising prospect of the athletes getting slowly
caught up over a long period of time and not being able to run because they
would get disqualified. I’d definitely tune in to watch that.
Cycling – It
seems strange to mess with a sport where we have such dominance considering how
rare this is for Britain .
But why not make it a bit more interesting for everyone else, just in the
interests of fair play you see. As was suggested to me, wouldn’t it be better
if cyclists had bananas, oil slicks and turtle shells as on Mario Kart which
they could use to fire at their opponents? Navigating hazards would certainly
add to the skill level and make the race more unpredictable, but I’m worried
that our cyclists would be heavily targeted by everyone else’s. Although at
least we wouldn’t have to worry about the French as they would surrender early
on.
Swimming – We all
know the benefits of a quick start to any race, but I would love to see
swimmers begin their race by coming down a large slide before setting off. That would give the slower swimmers a chance to gain a head-start at least.
Canoeing – Canoeists
should have to move about in pedalos, but in a new rule change, they should
have those massive sticks they used to have in Gladiators which would allow
them to knock an opponent overboard, just like in the gameshow where the object
was to knock them off the raised platform they were standing on. Again, this
would make for a more open competition.
Steeplechase – The
hurdles in the steeplechase should be followed by hot coal which the athletes
have to run through and the water should have crocodiles in them just to liven
things up a bit.
Archery – Instead
of a boring circular board to aim at, competitors (who will be dressed like
Robin Hood) have a human cut up to target with the face of anyone they choose
to attach to it in order to motivate themselves. 10 points would be scored for
shots to certain painful areas of the body.
Fencing – Fencing
should be based on the film Role Models, where a hit to an arm or leg means
that it can no longer be used again in the fight, even if it meant kneeling on
the floor. Also, like in the film, each country would have to have their own
team name and outfit to distinguish themselves from everyone else.
Modern Pentathlon –
Beginning with a sky dive, the athletes would have to walk along a tight-rope,
swim across shark-infested waters and then complete a mission on COD in order
to finish their race. This could mean the event going on all night if no-one
was able to complete the mission.
There are a few Olympic sports, such as walking and
dressage, which personally I have little to no interest in. With golf for some
reason soon to be in the Games, here a few others sports which I feel should
also be included:
Freestyle
football/basketball – Basically just a showboating contest where the likes
of football freestylers and the Harlem Globetrotters could show off their unbelievable
skills in front of a panel including some of the best from their respective sports.
Professional
wrestling – None of this Greco/Roman stuff, I want to see the likes of the
Rock take part in a contest where the result is clearly fixed and with
storylines which are not believable in the slightest. The Olympics have their
fair play but it couldn’t hurt to have a bit of showmanship as well.
Pole dancing –
Need I say more?
Rocking bull – A
very simple one this, it’s just a question of who can stay on the bull for the
longest with each country’s competitors clinging on for every precious second in
the hunt for gold.
Eating contests –
If the Olympics are going to be sponsored by McDonalds then we might as well
celebrate those who are not the toned, finely-tuned athletes we see on our
screens. There would be categories for the amount of food eaten in pure bulk
before a series of tasting challenges which you would see in Man versus Food.
To make it fair, like boxing there would be weight categories so that everyone
would have a chance of competing.
Hunger Games –
Just like the books (and the film) two competitors from each nation would be
placed on an island somewhere with gold going to the country for whom the
person who survives comes from.
Having come third in this Olympics, if we want to challenge
the duopoly of China and the
USA ,
we might want to see the following sports brought in where we would have a good
chance of medalling:
Drinking contests –
Time to organise a piss up in a brewery. Again, there would be separate
categories for speed and endurance, with necking of pints for the former and
the number of shots for the latter.
Darts – A chance
for Phil ‘The Power’ Taylor
to end his career on a high with the possibility of a British 1-2-3.
Tanning – Bring
in the cast of TOWIE to take on the Jersey
Shore lot and surely we
are guaranteed at least a medal, if not the gold.
Chanting – A
knock-out competition where fans from each country have to take each other on
in a chanting contest which could come from any football ground in the world.
Expect Team GB to go a long way in this although a final against Germany
could bring about some complications.
Making the best cup
of tea – China may have
all their fancy oriental teas, but when we unleash Yorkshire ’s
finest expect the judges to be swayed over immediately.
Books I have read this summer
Geoffrey Boycott autobiography
Fred Trueman autobiography
Some rubbish Hemmingway book
Mike Brearley - The Art of Captaincy
Graeme Swann autobiography
The Times' 100 Greatest Cricketers
Having to go back tor eading dull history books is a horrifying thought right now.
Premier League
In celebration of the return of the Premier League, here is
one thing which I predict will happen to each team:
Arsenal – See
their season collapse when Per Mertesacker has to play
Aston Villa –
Bore everyone to death
Everton – Tony
Hibbert to score in a competitive match
Fulham – The only
club to not challenge for Europe or be
threatened with relegation
QPR – Be the most
hated team outside the top six
Stoke – Buy
Nikola Zigic to give them some much needed height up front
Tottenham –
Regret letting Harry Redknapp ever leave
West Brom –
Re-assert themselves as the best club in the Midlands
(in league position that is)
West Ham – Play
four strikers and have another £20 million worth of strikers on the bench
Season Predictions:
After that famous draw last year we are back, sticking our
necks on the line in the battle for supremacy inside the competitive atmosphere
that is our house, where Fifa leads to more arguments than the issue of
abortion in American politics. Too topical? Ok, how about more arguments than
who is better between Messi and Ronaldo or who would you least like to take on
in a fight between Akinfenwa or Elokobi.
Anyway, after some embarrassing shouts last year we have
done it all again, this time with more categories to try and determine who
really has the great knowledge when it comes to football predictions.
Premier League
winners:
Richard Ayling – Manchester
City
Fraser Kesteven - Chelsea
Joel Lamy - Manchester
City
Sam Travell – Manchester
City
Rest of the top four:
RA – Manchester
United, Chelsea, Arsenal
FK – Manchester City , Manchester
United, Arsenal
JL - Manchester
United, Chelsea, Arsenal
ST – Manchester
United, Chelsea, Arsenal
Relegated teams:
RA – Southampton, Swansea , Norwich
FK – Southampton, Reading , Swansea
JL - Southampton, Reading , Swansea
ST – Southampton, Swansea ,
Aston Villa
Top scorer:
RA – Aguero
FK - Aguero
JL - Aguero
ST – Van Persie
First managerial
casualty:
RA - Laudrup
FK- Clarke
JL - Allardyce
ST- Hughton
Championship top two:
RA – Bolton , Leicester
FK – Wolves, Birmingham
JL - Birmingham ,
Leicester
ST – Bolton, Cardiff
Teams who make
play-offs:
RA – Wolves, Blackburn, Leeds, Cardiff
FK – Brighton, Leeds, Cardiff ,
Leicester
JL - Bolton, Wolves, Cardiff ,
Charlton
ST – Wolves, Blackburn, Forest ,
Leicester
Top scorer:
RA – Doyle
FK - Doyle
JL – Fletcher
ST – Fletcher
Relegated teams:
RA – Peterborough , Bristol City ,
Barnsley
FK – Sheffield Wednesday, Bristol
City , Barnsley
JL - Peterborough , Bristol City ,
Barnsley
ST – Peterborough , Bristol City ,
Barnsley
RA – 8th
FK – 9th
JL - 12th
ST – 6th
RA – Blackstock
FK - Blackstock
JL - Blackstock
ST – Cox
League One top two:
RA – Sheffield United, MK
Dons
FK – Sheffield United, Coventry
JL - Sheffield United, MK
Dons
ST – Notts County , Coventry
League Two top three:
RA – Rotherham , Fleetwood,
Southend
FK – Bristol Rovers, Oxford , Rotherham
JL - Rotherham, Southend, Cheltenham
ST – Fleetwood, Torquay, Coventry
Blue Square winner:
RA – Luton
FK - Wrexham
JL - Mansfield
ST – Wrexham
FA Cup winner:
RA – Manchester
City
FK - Liverpool
JL - Chelsea
ST – Manchester
United
League Cup winner:
RA – Chelsea
FK - Tottenham
JL - Tottenham
ST – Arsenal
Johnstone’s Paint
Trophy winner:
RA – Swindon
FK - Doncaster
JL - Notts
County
ST - Carlisle
Champions League
winner:
RA – Barcelona
FK – Real Madrid
JL - Real Madrid
ST – Barcelona
Europa League winner:
RA – Atletico Madrid
FK - Lazio
JL - Napoli
ST – Tottenham
La Liga winner:
RA – Barcelona
FK - Barcelona
JL - Real Madrid
ST – Barcelona
Who will score more
league goals: Messi or Ronaldo?
RA – Messi
FK - Messi
JL - Messi
ST – Ronaldo
Serie A winner:
RA – AC Milan
FK – AC Milan
JL - Juventus
ST – Inter Milan
Bundesliga winner:
RA – Bayern Munich
FK – Borussia Dortmund
JL - Bayern Munich
ST – Borussia Dortmund
Ballon d’Or winner:
RA – Messi
FK - Messi
JL - Messi
ST – Xavi
Dele Adebola league
goals:
RA – 4
FK - 5
JL - 9
ST – 6
Fernando Torres league
goals:
RA – 13
FK - 11
JL - 14
ST – 17
Which club will RVP
be at come the end of August:
RA – Arsenal
FK - Arsenal
JL - Manchester
United
ST - Arsenal
In tribute to Sid Waddell, a man who was almost as good to
listen to as the sport he was covering himself. Watching darts will never be
the same again.
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