Climbing the greasy pol-itics
I must admit it's been nice to see Facebook filled with political chat rather than selfies, food pics and people announcing they are getting engaged.
The latter especially as I see people accomplishing something with their lives while I sit alone in my flat drooling over Jimmy Anderson's seam position and Ian Bell's cover drive and loudly shouting 'Kuuuuuuuuch' every time Matt Kuchar comes on in the golf even though there is absolutely nobody around to hear me.
But anyway, I digress. It's been good to see that people care about what is going on and it's been revealing to see what views my 'friends' actually have. The election has prompted people liking statuses from David Cameron and others pushing a very socialist agenda.
A few points have been raised for me during the past month:
Even before the polls became discredited by the election result I was getting fed up with every newspaper group running a different poll on their front-page every day. From now on, no company should be able to publish more than one a week.
The campaign itself was just full on negative. When we weren't comparing the different kitchens of each leader, all we heard was do not vote Labour because you get the SNP, do not vote UKIP because you get Labour, do not vote Conservative because the NHS will collapse quicker than Derby from the Premier League.
The leaders went on the campaign trail but everything was staged so much that nothing of note ever seemed to happen.
And when questioned which parties they would work with in the result of a hung parliament we didn't seem to get a straight answer - a reason why changing the electoral system might not be a good idea.
And let's not get into the leaders' debates and the notorious spin room where party activists were defiantly trying to claim their man or woman had won.
From now on we should just make the election campaign a maximum of two weeks and get on with voting day which is brilliant. The shock in the room I was stood in when we saw the exit poll last week is something I'll always remember.
Going to bed at 3.30 on Friday afternoon, I had seen probably the rowdiest victory speech across the UK (http://www.peterboroughtoday.co.uk/news/politics/politics-news/re-elected-mp-stewart-jackson-in-controversial-victory-speech-1-6733039) and the controversial leader of the city council unexpectedly defeated. It was exciting, dramatic stuff, although my 'career' has probably already peaked.
Election night is truly the political version of transfer deadline day except on a much grander scale. And if it inspires younger people to become politically active then that's a good thing. And if it means I have to see a lot less selfies then I am very pleased.
Me and football need to talk
It's probably fitting that I'm writing this story on the day Manchester United play Arsenal. A fixture which used to grip me so much that I would ignore Megan Fox gyrating in a bikini right in front of me if it meant potentially missing Keane and Vieira front up or Henry smash one in, it's now become just another game.
And that's not because neither are challenging for the title. My love affair with football I assumed would last forever, even when I am old, alone, still renting, still unable to grow a proper beard, and shouting 'Kuuuuch' at the golf on my TV even though he retired about 40 years ago.
But I can already feel the passion slowly flickering away. The game is a cesspit of greed, cheating, abuse and ridiculous hype.
Stoke v. Sunderland is not a Super Sunday. Referees are not continually biased against your club.
Even a Real Madrid-Barcelona clasico, for so long the closest thing to footballing perfection, has descended into the most pathetic, childish charade ever produced on a professional sporting field.
Refereeing that match is like being sandwiched in the middle of Anthony Joshua and The Rock. The diving, dirty fouling, appealing to get players booked and play-acting has gone to such lengths that you kind of just want to see the referee sarcastically clap and pretend to wipe a tear away before sending half of them off.
You marvel at Lionel Messi, but alongside him is Luis Suarez, a man who tucks into an opposition player like I used to get stuck into a Pizza Hut buffet.
But it's not even at the top level this is going on. Lower league players are now trying to con refs, I hear stories at amateur level of refs being spat on and threatened.
Clubs are now taken over by rich owners who make them a laughing stock. Ticket prices are an absolute farce.
And yet, despite this, that pull towards football is still there. While I don't get as bothered now by Forest's results, I still remember the dread, excitement and stomach-churning before a big play-off match.
I remember the amazing matches which defied all sporting logic, I remember sat in awe watching Andy Reid weave his magic with his wand of a left foot. And even four months ago I was sat watching Forest win in the last minute at Derby. Seeing an under pressure Stuart Pearce celebrate, seeing Reid in the crowd lapping it up. It was a faint reminder that, when stripped bare, football can transcend its relevance and make you genuinely happy, even if for just a few hours.
Unfortunately these moments are too fleeting. And that's not just because I support a team which - like life, death, taxes and having a massive dump after a big drinking session - is guaranteed to let me down year after year.
Forest have been worse in my lifetime than they are now, but the joy was still there. Yet I find myself watching fewer and fewer matches in general, and even then it's mostly by having it on in the background.
The ruling body of football, Fifa, is horrendous. The Premier League winners come from an elite group of money bags which is almost impossible to breach. It's everything that sport should not be.
But despite this I cannot let myself go. I can't forget being a football anorak who used to sign Freddy Adu every season on Football Manager (or Championship Manager as it was then) even though he was 13 and I would have to play eight seasons for him to become properly good.
I took Southampton to the Champions League, Forest to the Europa League, Wrexham to the top of the non-league pyramid in the early hours of the morning after missing a taxi to a club, and achieved promotion with Hapoel Rishon Le Zion from the Israeli second division. A fine achievement I'm sure you will agree.
I used to google FM wonderkids. I would see Eddie Johnson score 30 goals a season for me then wonder why he was so much worse in real life. I would become the manager of every top European club, fine their star player two weeks' wages for no reason, then sell them to the club I was actually managing so I could create an all-star team. And even then I'd still somehow not win the league.
I would play Fifa religiously, getting in a rage when the dirty cheating ref (see, I'm just as bad as the others) rules out a perfectly goal for me before somehow allowing one in at the other end despite someone launching a kung-fu kick on my keeper while he was trying to catch the ball.
I used to play International Superstar Soccer on the N64, play football top trumps, read football magazines, and had a massive thrill when one offered me two weeks worth of work experience (which turned out to be absolutely rubbish).
Maybe I was naive, sad and needed to get out more. All things which are probably still true.
But the excitement is slowly disappearing. It's no longer 50 shades of grey, it's more like 50 shades of a dull ball ache.
And it makes me sad, and sometimes angry, that football is so hard to enjoy. I miss the atmosphere, the away trips, the chanting, the heroes, the local boy-done-good who you want on the back of your shirt.
It's still there occasionally. It will never completely fade away. Despite the engulfing disease which is slowly spreading and destroying everything good inside football, there are flickers of what drew me to it in the first place. And I'm sure I will never turn my back on it properly. Of course not. The hope will always remain that we will be fully reconciled.
Now if you excuse me, the golf is on. Although disappointingly Kuch is not playing.
Sunday, 17 May 2015
Sunday, 22 February 2015
Pain and blame
I'm a believer in fate, so when I was told that being sent to a speed awareness course was the best thing that could have happened to me I believed it.
Now nobody wants to go to one of these courses.
It cost me £90 plus petrol for driving over 90 minutes to get there and back.
It's also fair to say finding out I had been clocked doing 80mph in a 70mph left me feeling like Ross in Friends - "I'm fine, no problem," when really all I wanted to do was smash up everything around me in a violent rage then use my work phone to ring someone I know, but who would not recognise the number, and shout abuse at them down the phone before hanging up and stamping all over the phone and chucking it against a wall.
Seriously, I was that pissed off. I thought I was getting three points on my licence which in turn would mean my insurance would go up in price, which would probably mean I'd sell my car, which would then make me have to get a train everytime I want to go to Nottingham. And trains are overpriced, cramped and always late except for the one time when you are not there bang on time and it actually decides to leave early.
But I left my course in January a different person. I wasn't quite going to become a missionary and give all my earnings to charity, but I did feel as if I had had the most intense educational experience of my life.
I learnt that the difference between 30 and 32 mph can mean stopping in front of someone and hitting them at a speed quick enough to cause serious damage.
I learnt that the survival rate of someone hit at 30mph is 80%. At 40mph that becomes 20%.
I saw the devastation of a family who had lost their daughter from a driver who was marginally speeding over the 30mph limit.
I saw a reconstruction of a horrendous motorway crash and how so many people ended up piled on because they did not leave anywhere near enough of a gap between the vehicle in front of them.
In 2013, 3,064 people were killed or seriously injured in crashes where speed was a factor.
You could see the horrified reactions of the people in the room as videos and stats hit them one after the other.
The devastation of a road accident was brought home to me recently by the trial of Debra Weston, a Nottingham woman who caused the death of Stephen and Samantha Durber and left their three-year-old son Lucas as an orphan.
She had not been drinking or on drugs and she was not even speeding. Quite simply, Weston seemed to veer into the wrong lane and, on trying to correct herself, lost control of her car.
She received 12 months for death by careless driving, but in reality she will live a life sentence of her own.
When you think that in the past year someone was clocked doing 128mph in a 30mph limit and that countless people get caught over the drink-drive limit, there are a lot of motorists out there who are lucky.
I know having written this that I'm bound to be involved in an accident soon, but if I can convince anyone to drive a little slower then I'll be pleased.
Not everyone will be lucky to be caught by a camera.
Sporting pain
Being a Forest fan and England fan generally feels like being repeatedly kicked in the nuts.
There's the sporting nadir of play-off defeats, Ashes whitewashes and underachievement in major tournaments.
Initially, like the initial contact on your scrotum, the pain of the defeat leaves you bent over as it's so raw and hard to take.
Once the initial shock disappears it's then the months of lingering disappointment and anger before slowly rousing yourself to go again. That's like the throbbing pain in your stomach which takes a long time to disappear before you finally feel like moving again.
Of course as a Forest and England fan there is the odd moment of fleeting glory. An encounter which, so unexpected, leaves you feeling joyful and leaves you with that sweet taste of success.
It's only a fleeting taste and all it does is leave a deep craving for more, which in turn only makes the next collapse, last day defeat or ritual spanking that even harder to take.
With that background it's worth taking a look at recent events at Forest.
I was in a minority who did not want Steve Cotterill sacked when he was here. I was then annoyed when Sean O'Driscoll was sacked with Forest in touching distance of the play-offs and having just beaten Leeds in thrilling fashion.
I wasn't disappointed to see Billy Davies or Stuart Pearce appointed even though I thought both were brought in by Fawaz to get the fans on side after some bad publicity. Which frankly was deserved when Alex McLeish was hired.
Now? I just feel embarrassed by the club. Under a transfer embargo, not paying clubs what we owe them then sacking a club legend and replacing him a couple of hours later.
It turns out Dougie Freeman was hired for the simple reason that he was available which makes perfect long-term planning.
It also later turns out that he is only a three month contract, although this might be extended.
People I used to meet always said how they liked Forest and wished we would be back in the top flight. That good faith is being tested.
It says a lot that our slide down the league table this season didn't annoy me that much. In fact, it was the terrible slump in form which made a heavy loss to Derby all the more likely. Which, as alluded to earlier, made the last minute, comeback winner that so much sweeter.
There was Pearce celebrating in the dug-out, the glorious Andy Reid was in the stands lapping it up, the camera spun to Fawaz who took a break from crafting his P45 for the manager to see what pleasure spending millions of pounds could actually bring.
What a moment, what a match. Again, as I said earlier that's the moment of unexpected bliss which is soon followed by a complete and utter pile of piss and things go back to normal and you're 3-0 down at Fulham after half-an-hour.
Fawaz, who has been playing air-guitar all around his 30 acre pad in celebration at the Derby result, suddenly remembers that he left Pearce's P45 at the iPro and a few days later he is sacked.
It's just an utter shambles. And just like Pearce before him, and Davies before him, and O'Driscoll before him, Freedman starts off with a few wins and everyone is happy again even though the season is already over and the next one is already in trouble with Britt Assombalonga out injured for a large part of it.
To be honest, if you hire enough managers to a good side one is eventually going to do well. So Freedman may well be doing the Dougie in celebration next May. Or maybe in November we will be outside the play-offs and he will be sacked, the chairman will refuse to talk the media because it accurately reports what he said, Reid will be injured again and thus somehow miss out on the Ballon d'Or which he is long overdue,
And we will not pay for the players we have bought, our new chief executive will walk out and we will start this cycle all over again with Pierre van Hooijdonk as the manager, Eugen Bopp as his assistant and Eugene Dadi the director of football.
Marlon Harewood will then be re-signed but fail a medical because he can't read a number plate from 30 yards away and Derby will be in Europe under Shteve McClaren.
To continue the theme...
The first week of the World Cup has pretty much gone to script. Australia and New Zealand have been convincing winners, England decided to change their side last minute and have been smashed.
Pakistan have made no runs, Ireland have beaten a Test side and South Africa have collapsed chasing a target.
Batsmen have scored big runs and there has been plenty of long hitting.
Whilst I'm here, it's worth giving a quick update on how the marathon tournament is unfolding.
England
I didn't expect much so I'm not disappointed. I wrote last week the batsmen find it tough to score 300 and there is no variety to the bowling and it showed.
Being hammered by two really good sides doesn't annoy me. What I hate are the last-minute changes to the side. Why have we put inGary Ballance at three, pushed James Taylor down to six and, to a lesser extent, not given Chris Woakes the new ball?
Peter Moores chose his Test side this summer and largely stuck with it despite losing. He was rewarded with three wins at the end.
But with the ODI team it's hard to have much confidence in him.
In his first series against Sri Lanka, the top three was Alastair Cook, Ian Bell and Ballance.
Against India, Cook, Alex Hales and Bell started in the top three. Ballance and Moeen Ali also featured at three.
Away at Sri Lanka. First match is Cook, Ali and Bell. That later becomes Cook, Ali and Hales, then Hales, Ali and Taylor when Cook was suspended. Then Cook, Ali and Taylor, before ending with Cook, Ali and Hales.
Then it's the beginning of the tri-series in Australia against the hosts and it's Bell, Ali and Taylor.
There is finally some continuity as those three play five matches in a row.
So on the opening day of the World Cup... Ballance comes in at three.
What chance are we giving ourselves? Why are players who have been dropped suddenly getting straight back in?
England wasted their summer by playing with Cook at the top for so long.
The summer in domestic cricket showed that Hales, Taylor and Ben Stokes were match winners.
Jason Roy at the top of the order deserved a go in Sri Lanka.
If England wanted a tall quick to take with them, I would have also gone with Boyd-Rankin over Steven Finn who still lacks pace.
It's a fine line in cricket between changing too many players or none at all as it's hard to suddenly bring someone in and expect them to be in form.
Still, England are favourites to win their remaining four group matches. They need to win at least three and to do so with a team who can then take on and beat three other big sides in knock-out matches.
For me, that team would have included Stokes and Adil Rashid. Possibly Roy if he had had the chance to stake a place.
But with the players available, I'm going: Hales, Bell, Taylor, Root, Morgan, Buttler, Ali, Jordan, Woakes, Broad, Anderson.
The team I would have liked at the start of the Sri Lanka tour was: Hales, Roy, Root, Stokes, Morgan, Buttler, Ali, Rashid, Jordan, Woakes, Boyd Rankin.
Broad and Anderson would then have come in once fit, probably for Jordan and Boyd Rankin. Taylor would have been next in line with the batting, although he has done really well since selected.
Anyway, let's really hope England get out the groups and maybe catch India on a day when the ball swings.
Elsewhere
Australia have only played one match and that was against England, so we won't know how good they are until they play a decent side.
South Africa contrived to collapse embarrassingly against India to give their side a taster of what to expect when they reach the knock-out matches.
New Zealand are in absolutely top form, which means they will probably win all six group matches then lose their first knockout match to really mess me about.
India, who ridiculously were longer odds than England at one point, have scored heavily. This is vital with their poor bowling attack. Virat Kohli has shown why I think he is the best ODI batsman in the world.
Sri Lanka rely heavily on Lasith Malinga who looks like he has indulged himself a bit too much whilst injured and is bowling like a medium-pacer. They were my dark horse tip, but their bowlers look out of form.
Pakistan are doing even worse than England, somehow. West Indies are scoring runs, but surely will embarrass themselves soon.
Pool B is beautifully open with Ireland and Zimbabwe both feeling they can qualify.
Now nobody wants to go to one of these courses.
It cost me £90 plus petrol for driving over 90 minutes to get there and back.
It's also fair to say finding out I had been clocked doing 80mph in a 70mph left me feeling like Ross in Friends - "I'm fine, no problem," when really all I wanted to do was smash up everything around me in a violent rage then use my work phone to ring someone I know, but who would not recognise the number, and shout abuse at them down the phone before hanging up and stamping all over the phone and chucking it against a wall.
Seriously, I was that pissed off. I thought I was getting three points on my licence which in turn would mean my insurance would go up in price, which would probably mean I'd sell my car, which would then make me have to get a train everytime I want to go to Nottingham. And trains are overpriced, cramped and always late except for the one time when you are not there bang on time and it actually decides to leave early.
But I left my course in January a different person. I wasn't quite going to become a missionary and give all my earnings to charity, but I did feel as if I had had the most intense educational experience of my life.
I learnt that the difference between 30 and 32 mph can mean stopping in front of someone and hitting them at a speed quick enough to cause serious damage.
I learnt that the survival rate of someone hit at 30mph is 80%. At 40mph that becomes 20%.
I saw the devastation of a family who had lost their daughter from a driver who was marginally speeding over the 30mph limit.
I saw a reconstruction of a horrendous motorway crash and how so many people ended up piled on because they did not leave anywhere near enough of a gap between the vehicle in front of them.
In 2013, 3,064 people were killed or seriously injured in crashes where speed was a factor.
You could see the horrified reactions of the people in the room as videos and stats hit them one after the other.
The devastation of a road accident was brought home to me recently by the trial of Debra Weston, a Nottingham woman who caused the death of Stephen and Samantha Durber and left their three-year-old son Lucas as an orphan.
She had not been drinking or on drugs and she was not even speeding. Quite simply, Weston seemed to veer into the wrong lane and, on trying to correct herself, lost control of her car.
She received 12 months for death by careless driving, but in reality she will live a life sentence of her own.
When you think that in the past year someone was clocked doing 128mph in a 30mph limit and that countless people get caught over the drink-drive limit, there are a lot of motorists out there who are lucky.
I know having written this that I'm bound to be involved in an accident soon, but if I can convince anyone to drive a little slower then I'll be pleased.
Not everyone will be lucky to be caught by a camera.
Sporting pain
Being a Forest fan and England fan generally feels like being repeatedly kicked in the nuts.
There's the sporting nadir of play-off defeats, Ashes whitewashes and underachievement in major tournaments.
Initially, like the initial contact on your scrotum, the pain of the defeat leaves you bent over as it's so raw and hard to take.
Once the initial shock disappears it's then the months of lingering disappointment and anger before slowly rousing yourself to go again. That's like the throbbing pain in your stomach which takes a long time to disappear before you finally feel like moving again.
Of course as a Forest and England fan there is the odd moment of fleeting glory. An encounter which, so unexpected, leaves you feeling joyful and leaves you with that sweet taste of success.
It's only a fleeting taste and all it does is leave a deep craving for more, which in turn only makes the next collapse, last day defeat or ritual spanking that even harder to take.
With that background it's worth taking a look at recent events at Forest.
I was in a minority who did not want Steve Cotterill sacked when he was here. I was then annoyed when Sean O'Driscoll was sacked with Forest in touching distance of the play-offs and having just beaten Leeds in thrilling fashion.
I wasn't disappointed to see Billy Davies or Stuart Pearce appointed even though I thought both were brought in by Fawaz to get the fans on side after some bad publicity. Which frankly was deserved when Alex McLeish was hired.
Now? I just feel embarrassed by the club. Under a transfer embargo, not paying clubs what we owe them then sacking a club legend and replacing him a couple of hours later.
It turns out Dougie Freeman was hired for the simple reason that he was available which makes perfect long-term planning.
It also later turns out that he is only a three month contract, although this might be extended.
People I used to meet always said how they liked Forest and wished we would be back in the top flight. That good faith is being tested.
It says a lot that our slide down the league table this season didn't annoy me that much. In fact, it was the terrible slump in form which made a heavy loss to Derby all the more likely. Which, as alluded to earlier, made the last minute, comeback winner that so much sweeter.
There was Pearce celebrating in the dug-out, the glorious Andy Reid was in the stands lapping it up, the camera spun to Fawaz who took a break from crafting his P45 for the manager to see what pleasure spending millions of pounds could actually bring.
What a moment, what a match. Again, as I said earlier that's the moment of unexpected bliss which is soon followed by a complete and utter pile of piss and things go back to normal and you're 3-0 down at Fulham after half-an-hour.
Fawaz, who has been playing air-guitar all around his 30 acre pad in celebration at the Derby result, suddenly remembers that he left Pearce's P45 at the iPro and a few days later he is sacked.
It's just an utter shambles. And just like Pearce before him, and Davies before him, and O'Driscoll before him, Freedman starts off with a few wins and everyone is happy again even though the season is already over and the next one is already in trouble with Britt Assombalonga out injured for a large part of it.
To be honest, if you hire enough managers to a good side one is eventually going to do well. So Freedman may well be doing the Dougie in celebration next May. Or maybe in November we will be outside the play-offs and he will be sacked, the chairman will refuse to talk the media because it accurately reports what he said, Reid will be injured again and thus somehow miss out on the Ballon d'Or which he is long overdue,
And we will not pay for the players we have bought, our new chief executive will walk out and we will start this cycle all over again with Pierre van Hooijdonk as the manager, Eugen Bopp as his assistant and Eugene Dadi the director of football.
Marlon Harewood will then be re-signed but fail a medical because he can't read a number plate from 30 yards away and Derby will be in Europe under Shteve McClaren.
To continue the theme...
The first week of the World Cup has pretty much gone to script. Australia and New Zealand have been convincing winners, England decided to change their side last minute and have been smashed.
Pakistan have made no runs, Ireland have beaten a Test side and South Africa have collapsed chasing a target.
Batsmen have scored big runs and there has been plenty of long hitting.
Whilst I'm here, it's worth giving a quick update on how the marathon tournament is unfolding.
England
I didn't expect much so I'm not disappointed. I wrote last week the batsmen find it tough to score 300 and there is no variety to the bowling and it showed.
Being hammered by two really good sides doesn't annoy me. What I hate are the last-minute changes to the side. Why have we put inGary Ballance at three, pushed James Taylor down to six and, to a lesser extent, not given Chris Woakes the new ball?
Peter Moores chose his Test side this summer and largely stuck with it despite losing. He was rewarded with three wins at the end.
But with the ODI team it's hard to have much confidence in him.
In his first series against Sri Lanka, the top three was Alastair Cook, Ian Bell and Ballance.
Against India, Cook, Alex Hales and Bell started in the top three. Ballance and Moeen Ali also featured at three.
Away at Sri Lanka. First match is Cook, Ali and Bell. That later becomes Cook, Ali and Hales, then Hales, Ali and Taylor when Cook was suspended. Then Cook, Ali and Taylor, before ending with Cook, Ali and Hales.
Then it's the beginning of the tri-series in Australia against the hosts and it's Bell, Ali and Taylor.
There is finally some continuity as those three play five matches in a row.
So on the opening day of the World Cup... Ballance comes in at three.
What chance are we giving ourselves? Why are players who have been dropped suddenly getting straight back in?
England wasted their summer by playing with Cook at the top for so long.
The summer in domestic cricket showed that Hales, Taylor and Ben Stokes were match winners.
Jason Roy at the top of the order deserved a go in Sri Lanka.
If England wanted a tall quick to take with them, I would have also gone with Boyd-Rankin over Steven Finn who still lacks pace.
It's a fine line in cricket between changing too many players or none at all as it's hard to suddenly bring someone in and expect them to be in form.
Still, England are favourites to win their remaining four group matches. They need to win at least three and to do so with a team who can then take on and beat three other big sides in knock-out matches.
For me, that team would have included Stokes and Adil Rashid. Possibly Roy if he had had the chance to stake a place.
But with the players available, I'm going: Hales, Bell, Taylor, Root, Morgan, Buttler, Ali, Jordan, Woakes, Broad, Anderson.
The team I would have liked at the start of the Sri Lanka tour was: Hales, Roy, Root, Stokes, Morgan, Buttler, Ali, Rashid, Jordan, Woakes, Boyd Rankin.
Broad and Anderson would then have come in once fit, probably for Jordan and Boyd Rankin. Taylor would have been next in line with the batting, although he has done really well since selected.
Anyway, let's really hope England get out the groups and maybe catch India on a day when the ball swings.
Elsewhere
Australia have only played one match and that was against England, so we won't know how good they are until they play a decent side.
South Africa contrived to collapse embarrassingly against India to give their side a taster of what to expect when they reach the knock-out matches.
New Zealand are in absolutely top form, which means they will probably win all six group matches then lose their first knockout match to really mess me about.
India, who ridiculously were longer odds than England at one point, have scored heavily. This is vital with their poor bowling attack. Virat Kohli has shown why I think he is the best ODI batsman in the world.
Sri Lanka rely heavily on Lasith Malinga who looks like he has indulged himself a bit too much whilst injured and is bowling like a medium-pacer. They were my dark horse tip, but their bowlers look out of form.
Pakistan are doing even worse than England, somehow. West Indies are scoring runs, but surely will embarrass themselves soon.
Pool B is beautifully open with Ireland and Zimbabwe both feeling they can qualify.
Friday, 13 February 2015
Book in for bed and breakfast... for six weeks
The most over-blown, badly organised, major sporting event.
I admit this is hardly going to entice you to keep reading, but I hope seeing me badly predict what will happen at the Cricket World Cup is worth doing.
With a rough guide to the big teams, predictions for the tournament, Lamy's guaranteed-to-fail bets and my Dream XI, hopefully this blog will be as sharp and dynamic as a Glenn Maxwell cameo.
Group A
England
Australia
New Zealand
Sri Lanka
Bangladesh
Afghanistan
Scotland
England
Judging by the form guide, England are in the group of death. That's not saying much as there are only two groups, but it wouldn't be a World Cup without the obligatory group of death for us all to pore over in giddy excitement.
Dropping Alastair Cook will help their chances, but too much attention was paid on Cook's poor form. England's problems are much deeper.
The recent tri-series showed a welcome return of top order runs, but in the last decade England have only scored 300 on 21 occasions. Other than against Bangladesh, their highest score is 340.
India, in contrast, have scored 300 on 53 occasions.
At least if Ian Bell continues his good form, England fans will be in such a massive state of elation and satisfaction that they won't even notice the routine hammering being handed out.
The bowling is slightly less of a concern, with James Anderson one of the best with the new ball. But with nothing other than right-arm fast-medium and right-arm off spin, containing sides on good pitches will be really difficult.
Assuming England will make it to the quarter-finals is not a clever idea. Bangladesh and Afghanistan will both think they can win and Scotland seem to have the Midas touch under Paul Collingwoodl
However, should they get through as expected, as long as they avoid South Africa in the quarter-finals, England should not be worried by who they face.
Australia
A huge, hard-hitting batting line-up who are all in form. Two fast, slingy, wicket-taking left-arm bowlers. Confidence in abundance. Non-stop-winning this season and home conditions.
In terms of a build-up, Australia couldn't be in a much better place.
There are some injury concerns though. Captain Michael Clarke is desperately trying to get himself fit which is taking up a lot of attention. Key all-rounder James Faulkner is also an injury doubt. His absence would be a bigger blow than losing Clarke.
The only other concern is the lack of a world-class spinner, but that is a position most sides are in. Distractions over Clarke's fitness appear to be the only way for the Aussies to lose their momentum, unless David Warner decides to try and punch Joe Root in the opening fixture.
New Zealand
Another team with a long batting line-up and players in form. Like Australia, New Zealand go into the tournament full of confidence and with home advantage.
Kane Williamson's last 16 ODI scores read: 71, 77, 65, 60, 88, 10, 70*, 46, 123, 97, 15, 103, 26, 97, 54, 112.
So just the 12 scores over 50.
Brendon McCullum is breaking records, Ross Taylor is in great touch, Corey Anderson has the second-fastest international ton of all time and wicket-keeper Luke Ronchi recently whacked 170* off 99 balls.
The bowling attack has a lot of depth to it as well with left-arm and right-arm options in the pace and spin department.
A lack of quality reserve batsmen could be a worry, but for the first time in a while New Zealand go into this tournament as strong contenders rather than dark horses.
Sri Lanka
Speaking of dark horses, Sri Lanka are very much under the radar. A lot depends on the fitness of Lasith Malinga.
If he can find his form in the group stages, Sri Lanka will be a tough side to beat. The experienced Tillakaratne Dilshan, Kumar Sangakkara and Mahela Jayawardene all come into the tournament in-form and knowing this is their last World Cup.
The bowling has suffered recently in New Zealand and against India. But Sachithra Senanayake and Rangana Herath are decent spin options, and it was only last year that Malinga and Nuwan Kulasekara bowled brilliantly to take Sri Lanka to victory in the World T20 final.
At least nine of that side could start this tournament.
The lack of a settled opener alongside Dilshan is a concern, but Sri Lanka have excellent World Cup records. In their last six tournaments in the 50 over and 20 over World Cups, they have only failed to reach the final once. That includes being runners-up in the 2007 and 2011 50 over events.
The rest
Playing outside the sub-continent will make life hard for Bangladesh and Afghanistan.
Bangladesh know that one win against a major nation could see them through and they come into the tournament with some confidence having whitewashed Zimbabwe, although that was a few months ago now.
Left-arm spinner Taijul Islam has made a cracking start to his career, Mominul Haque has four Test hundreds from 12 matches and there is experience and the potential for explosive displays from Tamim Iqbal, Shakib Al Hasan and Mashrafe Mortaza.
Afghanistan are extremely hit-and-miss and will not go down wondering. Their recent form against fellow Associate nations is respectable, and if Hamid Hassan stays fit they have a fast bowler who can cause damage.
Scotland are the weakest side in the group, but having Paul Collingwood on-board has galvanised them. This includes a staggering 179 win over Ireland in a warm-up match followed by a three run loss to the West Indies after a late collapse.
Group B
South Africa
India
West Indies
Pakistan
Ireland
Zimbabwe
UAE
South Africa
Hashim Amla, Ab De Villiers and Dale Steyn and would get into any side at the moment, with Imran Tahir not far behind.
The batting is strong and the bowling attack is arguably the best around.
But with South Africa there is so much more to it than just their side, having never won a knockout match in this event.
That should change this time, but they will almost certainly have a tough quarter-final contest.
The issue for them is they are missing a James Faulkner figure. Their batting and bowling is a player light. Farhaan Behardien as the seventh batsman and fifth/sixth bowler looks the weak link in the side. If he plays well, though, South Africa will feel really confident of contesting the final.
India
Reigning World Cup and Champions Trophy champions. It seems ludicrous that you can get longer odds on India to win than England.
But India have fallen into the trap of touring Australia before a World Cup, and having not won a single match on tour and with a lot more hotel rooms to check-in to, it is hard to see how they can rouse themselves.
There is hope, of course. The batsmen have enviable records on paper - Virat Kohli is probably the best ODI batsman in the world, Rohit Sharma has two double hundreds in the format and MS Dhoni can provide inspirational leadership and destructive late-order hitting.
No total is safe if India get going.
The problem is, they don't appear like they are going to. Their bowlers take a pasting in all formats, and over three knock-out matches you would fancy one side will hit a massive total.
India won their last global tournament in England. But this, surely, is too much to ask.
West Indies
Disarray and West Indies go together like Homer Simpson and donuts. To go into detail here would take me far too long, but having left half-way through a tour of India and not picked two of their best players for this tournament, seemingly for revenge, it is not surprising some fancy Ireland to knock them out.
Their captain is 23-year-old Jason Holder, and he will be praying Chris Gayle shows his recent T20 form rather than continue his run of one 50 in his last 17 ODI innings.
With Sunil Narine also not available, there are very few reasons to have any confidence in the West Indies challenging.
It will require Gayle, Marlon Samuels, Darren Sammy and Andre Russell to find their range. If you are a West Indies fan, you will hope they find it against Ireland. Otherwise, they might yet reach a new low.
Pakistan
Missing three of their best bowlers in Saeed Ajmal, Mohammad Hafeez and Junaid Khan, it seems impossible for Pakistan to repeat their 1992 triumph Down Under.
Unusually, their batting looks the stronger suit with elder statesmen Younis Khan, Misbah-ul-Haq and Shahid Afridi clear threats.
An opening fixture against India will be a great start to the tournament, but it's hard to see them proving much of a threat unless Afridi fires with bat and ball.
The rest
In the last six months Zimbabwe have been whitewashed in an ODI series by Bangladesh and beaten Australia.
Their two warm-up matches saw them have New Zealand 157-7 before rain intervened, and after that they chased down 280 against Sri Lanka with seven wickets and 28 balls remaining.
If they can maintain that form then they will be eyeing three wins out of six which might take them through.
Ireland have starred in the past two World Cups and will be eyeing wins against West Indies and Zimbabwe.
That opening fixture against Chris Gayle and co is huge for Ireland who must feel that a quarter-final place is a huge possibility. Recent form is not as consistent as it needs to be, but there is plenty of experience to expect that a couple of wins, if not more, is achievable.
The complete unknowns are the UAE, but having beaten Afghanistan 3-1 in a recent series, they will fancy at least one win in a group where only South Africa and India stand out.
Predictions
Winner: New Zealand
Dark horse: Sri Lanka
Top run-scorer: David Warner
Top wicket-taker: Mitchell Starc
Quarter-finals:
Australia v. West Indies - Australia win
New Zealand v. Pakistan - New Zealand win
Sri Lanka v. India - Sri Lanka win
England v. South Africa - South Africa win
Final:
Unless they meet in the semis, Australia v. New Zealand
Dream XI:
Amla, Sharma, Kohli, Sangakkara, De Villiers, Warner, Afridi, Faulkner, Johnson, Starc, Steyn
I admit this is hardly going to entice you to keep reading, but I hope seeing me badly predict what will happen at the Cricket World Cup is worth doing.
With a rough guide to the big teams, predictions for the tournament, Lamy's guaranteed-to-fail bets and my Dream XI, hopefully this blog will be as sharp and dynamic as a Glenn Maxwell cameo.
Group A
England
Australia
New Zealand
Sri Lanka
Bangladesh
Afghanistan
Scotland
England
Judging by the form guide, England are in the group of death. That's not saying much as there are only two groups, but it wouldn't be a World Cup without the obligatory group of death for us all to pore over in giddy excitement.
Dropping Alastair Cook will help their chances, but too much attention was paid on Cook's poor form. England's problems are much deeper.
The recent tri-series showed a welcome return of top order runs, but in the last decade England have only scored 300 on 21 occasions. Other than against Bangladesh, their highest score is 340.
India, in contrast, have scored 300 on 53 occasions.
At least if Ian Bell continues his good form, England fans will be in such a massive state of elation and satisfaction that they won't even notice the routine hammering being handed out.
The bowling is slightly less of a concern, with James Anderson one of the best with the new ball. But with nothing other than right-arm fast-medium and right-arm off spin, containing sides on good pitches will be really difficult.
Assuming England will make it to the quarter-finals is not a clever idea. Bangladesh and Afghanistan will both think they can win and Scotland seem to have the Midas touch under Paul Collingwoodl
However, should they get through as expected, as long as they avoid South Africa in the quarter-finals, England should not be worried by who they face.
Australia
A huge, hard-hitting batting line-up who are all in form. Two fast, slingy, wicket-taking left-arm bowlers. Confidence in abundance. Non-stop-winning this season and home conditions.
In terms of a build-up, Australia couldn't be in a much better place.
There are some injury concerns though. Captain Michael Clarke is desperately trying to get himself fit which is taking up a lot of attention. Key all-rounder James Faulkner is also an injury doubt. His absence would be a bigger blow than losing Clarke.
The only other concern is the lack of a world-class spinner, but that is a position most sides are in. Distractions over Clarke's fitness appear to be the only way for the Aussies to lose their momentum, unless David Warner decides to try and punch Joe Root in the opening fixture.
New Zealand
Another team with a long batting line-up and players in form. Like Australia, New Zealand go into the tournament full of confidence and with home advantage.
Kane Williamson's last 16 ODI scores read: 71, 77, 65, 60, 88, 10, 70*, 46, 123, 97, 15, 103, 26, 97, 54, 112.
So just the 12 scores over 50.
Brendon McCullum is breaking records, Ross Taylor is in great touch, Corey Anderson has the second-fastest international ton of all time and wicket-keeper Luke Ronchi recently whacked 170* off 99 balls.
The bowling attack has a lot of depth to it as well with left-arm and right-arm options in the pace and spin department.
A lack of quality reserve batsmen could be a worry, but for the first time in a while New Zealand go into this tournament as strong contenders rather than dark horses.
Sri Lanka
Speaking of dark horses, Sri Lanka are very much under the radar. A lot depends on the fitness of Lasith Malinga.
If he can find his form in the group stages, Sri Lanka will be a tough side to beat. The experienced Tillakaratne Dilshan, Kumar Sangakkara and Mahela Jayawardene all come into the tournament in-form and knowing this is their last World Cup.
The bowling has suffered recently in New Zealand and against India. But Sachithra Senanayake and Rangana Herath are decent spin options, and it was only last year that Malinga and Nuwan Kulasekara bowled brilliantly to take Sri Lanka to victory in the World T20 final.
At least nine of that side could start this tournament.
The lack of a settled opener alongside Dilshan is a concern, but Sri Lanka have excellent World Cup records. In their last six tournaments in the 50 over and 20 over World Cups, they have only failed to reach the final once. That includes being runners-up in the 2007 and 2011 50 over events.
The rest
Playing outside the sub-continent will make life hard for Bangladesh and Afghanistan.
Bangladesh know that one win against a major nation could see them through and they come into the tournament with some confidence having whitewashed Zimbabwe, although that was a few months ago now.
Left-arm spinner Taijul Islam has made a cracking start to his career, Mominul Haque has four Test hundreds from 12 matches and there is experience and the potential for explosive displays from Tamim Iqbal, Shakib Al Hasan and Mashrafe Mortaza.
Afghanistan are extremely hit-and-miss and will not go down wondering. Their recent form against fellow Associate nations is respectable, and if Hamid Hassan stays fit they have a fast bowler who can cause damage.
Scotland are the weakest side in the group, but having Paul Collingwood on-board has galvanised them. This includes a staggering 179 win over Ireland in a warm-up match followed by a three run loss to the West Indies after a late collapse.
Group B
South Africa
India
West Indies
Pakistan
Ireland
Zimbabwe
UAE
South Africa
Hashim Amla, Ab De Villiers and Dale Steyn and would get into any side at the moment, with Imran Tahir not far behind.
The batting is strong and the bowling attack is arguably the best around.
But with South Africa there is so much more to it than just their side, having never won a knockout match in this event.
That should change this time, but they will almost certainly have a tough quarter-final contest.
The issue for them is they are missing a James Faulkner figure. Their batting and bowling is a player light. Farhaan Behardien as the seventh batsman and fifth/sixth bowler looks the weak link in the side. If he plays well, though, South Africa will feel really confident of contesting the final.
India
Reigning World Cup and Champions Trophy champions. It seems ludicrous that you can get longer odds on India to win than England.
But India have fallen into the trap of touring Australia before a World Cup, and having not won a single match on tour and with a lot more hotel rooms to check-in to, it is hard to see how they can rouse themselves.
There is hope, of course. The batsmen have enviable records on paper - Virat Kohli is probably the best ODI batsman in the world, Rohit Sharma has two double hundreds in the format and MS Dhoni can provide inspirational leadership and destructive late-order hitting.
No total is safe if India get going.
The problem is, they don't appear like they are going to. Their bowlers take a pasting in all formats, and over three knock-out matches you would fancy one side will hit a massive total.
India won their last global tournament in England. But this, surely, is too much to ask.
West Indies
Disarray and West Indies go together like Homer Simpson and donuts. To go into detail here would take me far too long, but having left half-way through a tour of India and not picked two of their best players for this tournament, seemingly for revenge, it is not surprising some fancy Ireland to knock them out.
Their captain is 23-year-old Jason Holder, and he will be praying Chris Gayle shows his recent T20 form rather than continue his run of one 50 in his last 17 ODI innings.
With Sunil Narine also not available, there are very few reasons to have any confidence in the West Indies challenging.
It will require Gayle, Marlon Samuels, Darren Sammy and Andre Russell to find their range. If you are a West Indies fan, you will hope they find it against Ireland. Otherwise, they might yet reach a new low.
Pakistan
Missing three of their best bowlers in Saeed Ajmal, Mohammad Hafeez and Junaid Khan, it seems impossible for Pakistan to repeat their 1992 triumph Down Under.
Unusually, their batting looks the stronger suit with elder statesmen Younis Khan, Misbah-ul-Haq and Shahid Afridi clear threats.
An opening fixture against India will be a great start to the tournament, but it's hard to see them proving much of a threat unless Afridi fires with bat and ball.
The rest
In the last six months Zimbabwe have been whitewashed in an ODI series by Bangladesh and beaten Australia.
Their two warm-up matches saw them have New Zealand 157-7 before rain intervened, and after that they chased down 280 against Sri Lanka with seven wickets and 28 balls remaining.
If they can maintain that form then they will be eyeing three wins out of six which might take them through.
Ireland have starred in the past two World Cups and will be eyeing wins against West Indies and Zimbabwe.
That opening fixture against Chris Gayle and co is huge for Ireland who must feel that a quarter-final place is a huge possibility. Recent form is not as consistent as it needs to be, but there is plenty of experience to expect that a couple of wins, if not more, is achievable.
The complete unknowns are the UAE, but having beaten Afghanistan 3-1 in a recent series, they will fancy at least one win in a group where only South Africa and India stand out.
Predictions
Winner: New Zealand
Dark horse: Sri Lanka
Top run-scorer: David Warner
Top wicket-taker: Mitchell Starc
Quarter-finals:
Australia v. West Indies - Australia win
New Zealand v. Pakistan - New Zealand win
Sri Lanka v. India - Sri Lanka win
England v. South Africa - South Africa win
Final:
Unless they meet in the semis, Australia v. New Zealand
Dream XI:
Amla, Sharma, Kohli, Sangakkara, De Villiers, Warner, Afridi, Faulkner, Johnson, Starc, Steyn
Thursday, 20 November 2014
Getting Litt up in the newsroom
I'm not going to lie, it's been emotional. Being a trainee news reporter after 22 years of following and covering sport is a bit like sitting in GCSE chemistry lessons. You finally think you've got the hang of it then something else comes along and suddenly it feels like one of those horrible dreams where you've had your pants pulled down in front of a large group of people. And it's really cold.
Or maybe as Matt Dawson was saying on the radio earlier, it's like having your bare bum spanked with a cactus (good to hear what rugby players get up to on tour).
To be honest, I had no absolutely no idea what to expect when I made the move to Peterborough to embark on my new glamorous life (ahem).
Dictaphone in one hand, notepad in the other, a brand new suit and shoes to show off, a Don Bradman biography on my bedside table and the joys of a League One football side not far from my front door, I honestly assumed this is how Matthew McConaughey must feel on the red carpet. How could it get any better unless Taylor Swift knocked on my front door one night seeking a place to stay?
Sure, I had moved to a new city which I knew nothing about and would be covering stories I had never even thought about writing before.
The experience has certainly lived up to my hope that journalism would keep life interesting. I've covered big stories on crime, the NHS and the council's budget.
I've had people in tears after hearing how their son died, been threatened after knocking on doors and spoken to people who were expected to die very soon yet were still doing their best to raise money for charity.
And not to mention a Pizza Express review in the newspaper going viral which was beyond surreal. "Hello I'm calling from the Mirror," was the first call as fellow news-hungry journalists tried to get hold of the work experience girl who had written the review.
Then it was the Sunday Times, followed by a call from the Radio 4 Today programme. Surprisingly, they were not interested in my thoughts on European Tour golf or cricketers of the 1930s (not sure why I bought that Bradman book now) but wanted to know more about Pizza Express.
To be honest, I would be lying to say I didn't feel like David Moyes at Manchester United at times.
Everything I had done previously had been geared towards sport. Ever since I used to watch every Forest home game and attempt to take them to Premier League glory on Championship Manager as it called was back then. And of course the many hours with bat and ball at the glorious Trent Bridge, the home of cricket.
Now I go to planning meetings and write about fly-tipping. And weirdly, I even have my own work Twitter handle although I still have about 20 followers. Justin Bieber better watch out, I'll be overtaking him soon.
For people interested in what it's like in the newsroom and writing for a living, it is rarely boring. You can be trying to balance several stories at the same time, you're on the phone trying to take down quotes with shorthand from people speaking at what feels like 300 words per minute and you're always dealing with media officers. Every company, no matter how small, uses at least one.
But more importantly, I get to suit up every day and dress like my hero Louis Litt.
Or maybe as Matt Dawson was saying on the radio earlier, it's like having your bare bum spanked with a cactus (good to hear what rugby players get up to on tour).
To be honest, I had no absolutely no idea what to expect when I made the move to Peterborough to embark on my new glamorous life (ahem).
Dictaphone in one hand, notepad in the other, a brand new suit and shoes to show off, a Don Bradman biography on my bedside table and the joys of a League One football side not far from my front door, I honestly assumed this is how Matthew McConaughey must feel on the red carpet. How could it get any better unless Taylor Swift knocked on my front door one night seeking a place to stay?
Sure, I had moved to a new city which I knew nothing about and would be covering stories I had never even thought about writing before.
But I was fully trained up, eager to make a good impression and would surely uncover some huge scandal in my first month which would lead to me being hailed as the greatest trainee journalist in the history of local newspapers and being coveted by the big beasts in the media. And The Guardian.
This wasn't because I was arrogant. I mean, I make Ed Miliband look confident and assured. I just figured my time as an Inbetweeners lookalike was over and that this was my moment to shine.
Considering that in my last job I used to fumble about for an hour with a massive hot dog (not a euphemism) before serving it to customers (definitely not a euphemism - please don't report me) I figured being paid to write would be fairly straight-forward.
Yeah, about that.
It didn't help that the only thing I knew about Peterborough was the football team. It was suggested to me before moving by other people with a similar knowledge of Peterborough that I would be interviewing their chairman Darragh MacAnthony every week because, let's face it, who else was there? Nevermind that I wasn't actually covering sport.
Having found a flat, moved my stuff across, reluctantly splashed out on expanding my wardrobe and began sorting out the 3,000 different bills and taxes which would be coming out of my account, it was time to actually see whether the years of research, unpaid internships, fairly expensive (albeit worthwhile) training and fruitless job applications would not be a complete waste of time and money.
The experience has certainly lived up to my hope that journalism would keep life interesting. I've covered big stories on crime, the NHS and the council's budget.
I've had people in tears after hearing how their son died, been threatened after knocking on doors and spoken to people who were expected to die very soon yet were still doing their best to raise money for charity.
And not to mention a Pizza Express review in the newspaper going viral which was beyond surreal. "Hello I'm calling from the Mirror," was the first call as fellow news-hungry journalists tried to get hold of the work experience girl who had written the review.
Then it was the Sunday Times, followed by a call from the Radio 4 Today programme. Surprisingly, they were not interested in my thoughts on European Tour golf or cricketers of the 1930s (not sure why I bought that Bradman book now) but wanted to know more about Pizza Express.
To be honest, I would be lying to say I didn't feel like David Moyes at Manchester United at times.
Everything I had done previously had been geared towards sport. Ever since I used to watch every Forest home game and attempt to take them to Premier League glory on Championship Manager as it called was back then. And of course the many hours with bat and ball at the glorious Trent Bridge, the home of cricket.
Now I go to planning meetings and write about fly-tipping. And weirdly, I even have my own work Twitter handle although I still have about 20 followers. Justin Bieber better watch out, I'll be overtaking him soon.
For people interested in what it's like in the newsroom and writing for a living, it is rarely boring. You can be trying to balance several stories at the same time, you're on the phone trying to take down quotes with shorthand from people speaking at what feels like 300 words per minute and you're always dealing with media officers. Every company, no matter how small, uses at least one.
But more importantly, I get to suit up every day and dress like my hero Louis Litt.
All I would say to people who think newspapers just make things up or hack people's phones, we are the ones who stand up for the public, ask the questions they cannot and make sure they are informed.
You really witness all the emotions in this job. You see so many great charity acts which inspire you then you hear about such despicable crime which leaves you cold.
You really have to try and be an expert on all matters, be comfortable adapting between print and online, and find time to get your stories written in between answering long phone calls, wading through emails, checking Twitter and eating, which for me is a constant event.
But at the end of the day, it doesn't get much better than seeing your byline on a Thursday throughout the paper. And if you've got the splash on the front page it's even better. Now it's all about working my way on to Question Time.
Anyway, that's enough of the whistle-stop description on what I'm sure you've decided is my extremely exciting life.
What can I say, I didn't choose the thug life, it chose me.
All I would say is I've learnt how important it is to enjoy your time off as much as possible and how I pay far too many bills. Which is why I have spent most of this week watching cricket, listening to Taylor Swift and sending lots of snapchats.
But seriously, when I check my bank balance a few days before pay day it's not a pretty site.
Still, having slunked back into my flat on many evenings wondering when someone will politely tell me that this job is not for me and that I've wasted the last five years of my life trying to get into this industry, you realise you enjoy the unpredictability of the work, the pressure and, fortunately for me, the colleagues.
It all means it's not normally too difficult to force myself into the office on a Monday morning and often I've found myself excited to get in there and see what's kicking off whilst enjoying some top, top banter. Naturally.
On top of that, being able to freelance on Saturdays at football grounds is a very good way to earn a few extra quid. And hearing some of the dull quotes managers at times come out with makes you realise that filling in the back pages might not be as good as getting stuck into the front.
Oh well, big up the Peterborough massive, and if you're reading this Fraser Kesteven (Kimsteven)
Thursday, 5 June 2014
New dawn or emperor's new clothes?
Six matches against Sri Lanka have seen two wins and four defeats. It appears that when it comes to England's limited-overs teams, it's more of the same from Peter Moores.
Still, a chance to level the scores will come over the next fortnight in the two-Test series. And to quote Frozen, for the first time in forever, nobody in April could have predicted with any certainty the 12 names selected to travel to Lord's for the first five-day affair since Sydney in January.
Below, I give the England team I would have liked to have seen picked and give my thoughts on the other names who were included in the squad.
My England XI
1. Alastair Cook - Needs runs in all formats, but his place in the Test side is not under threat. Fortunate to remain captain.
2. Sam Robson - Scored heavily last season and in the winter. Should have come into the side at Adelaide during the winter when Jonathan Trott went home.
3. Nick Compton - Would not make for the most exciting top three, but could mirror the Strauss-Cook-Trott axis which set-up many series wins. With Trott unavailable, Compton is the best replacement and has an appetite for batting long.
4. Ian Bell - In my view, he should be captain. Wants to bat at 4 and will look to continue his excellent early-season form.
5. Gary Ballance - ODI struggles aside, his first-class record in the last 12 months means he deserves his place.
6. Ben Stokes - Just back from injury, but if he's fit then he should be in. Just like Prior and Broad who have been fast-tracked back in.
7. Matt Prior - A difficult 2013 but he still maintains an average of 40 in the longer format and is a normally reliable keeper. Possibly under-estimated just how important he is to England.
8. Chris Jordan - Has proved himself to be ready for international cricket and has shown the necessary red-ball form as well. Important to have bowlers who can bat.
9. Stuart Broad - Did not receive enough credit for his Ashes performance and has outshone Anderson for the past year.
10. James Anderson - A few mutterings that Jimmy was no longer undroppable. With few stand-out alternatives to come in, and a strong start to the season, let's hope an Easter break will see him back to top form.
11. Simon Kerrigan - With Monty Panesar clearly out of favour, Kerrigan is England's best spinner and deserves another go.
The Rest
Chris Woakes - Another who has suffered the Kerrigan treatment of being judged from one Test match. Consistently one of the best bowlers in the country and a very good bat. Deserves his place in the side even if it is just for one Test.
Jos Buttler - I'm not a fan of using ODI performances when it comes to picking the Test team. The benefit of bringing players like Buttler, Jordan and Stokes into the limited-overs side is to see if they have the bottle for international cricket. All three have proven that they do. Now, it is time for Buttler to take a step away from the limelight and work on his first-class batting and wicket-keeping. That way, should Prior suffer injury or another loss of form, he will be ready for the challenge.
Moeen Ali - Has played well and deserved his place, but too much of a bits-and-pieces cricketer for my liking. Appears to be a second spinner and decent batsman, but long-term England will be better off with a man who can consistently dismiss international players. Will be interesting to see how Moeen bowls should he be picked.
Liam Plunkett - Apparently picking former England wicket-keepers is going back in time, but picking a seamer who has not played a Test for seven years is ok. Plunkett has been possibly the stand-out pace bowler in county cricket this season. He was bowling late-80s in a televised game against Durham and is getting his wickets through hostile bowling in a manner reminiscent of a certain left-handed Australian.
Still, I would like to see Plunkett given another month of county cricket to see if he can retain this form and allow Broad to be England's enforcer. If Plunkett can continue the way he is playing then unleashing him on the Indian batsmen could be fun to watch.
Joe Root - Australia clearly fancied their chances against Root, who struggled for the majority of the two Ashes series. Shunted around the order, he deserves sympathy. But watching him tell himself against Sri Lanka to get his front-foot forward, and having seen him trapped lbw for Yorkshire on at least a couple of occasions this season, it appears that he is not fully at ease with his game.
That is no surprise, as few Test batsmen have a perfect technique, but with few early season runs to go by, it might be wise to see him work on these issues in a confident Yorkshire side. There's no point scoring well against two of the weaker attacks in world cricket this summer only to suffer the same issues when he faces New Zealand and Australia in 2015.
One thing to beware
Stuart Broad plays in all formats. He bowls, bats and captains the Twenty20 team. He proved in the winter that, aged 27, he has reached his prime with the ball and could one day captain England in more than one format.
It is a worry, therefore, that he has suffered with tendonitis in his right knee and will most likely need surgery at the end of the season. His county coach (and England selector) Mick Newell believes he should give up the 20-over game to protect himself from injury.
The worry with Broad is that he has played international cricket since 2006, which for bowlers on that never-ending treadmill is a long-time. In that period he has played 231 international matches.
His body has broken down before, and with England playing five Tests against India inside six weeks over July and August, he will face a huge physical challenge.
Broad grew up idolising Glenn McGrath and struggled to know how he should bowl in the Test side. Originally billed as a McGrath clone who could bowl a consistent line and length, his pace and aggression often saw him bowl too short a length, before making the necessary changes later on in his career.
In the week that Andrew Flintoff announced his return to competitive cricket, it's important to make sure the man who was billed as Freddie's heir following the 2009 Ashes does not fade so badly through the strain on his body.
Flintoff was famed for his huge bowling efforts; five times he bowled 50 overs or more in a Test match. Against Sri Lanka as captain, he ploughed through 51 in a single innings, such was his desire to win.
Broad, by contrast, has only reached that number of overs twice, both times coming in 2012. However, based in a four-man attack for the vast majority of his 67 Tests, he has had to bowl a large amount of overs.
With Ben Stokes' emergence allowing for five bowlers, it is time to let someone else put in the long overs. Broad can bowl a similar pace to Mitchell Johnson and from a good height. He has an ability to run through a team in a session and change the course of a match.
At an age where he is at his peak, when England need its senior players to lead, with an injury that needs managing, and with a schedule that will punish his body, it's time to make Broad our strike bowler.
And finally...
Cook, Bell, Root, Ballance. England's top four in ODIs. It was Peter Moores' first series so let's call it a watch-and-learn period. But as everyone in the media is telling him, things have to change.
Still, a chance to level the scores will come over the next fortnight in the two-Test series. And to quote Frozen, for the first time in forever, nobody in April could have predicted with any certainty the 12 names selected to travel to Lord's for the first five-day affair since Sydney in January.
Below, I give the England team I would have liked to have seen picked and give my thoughts on the other names who were included in the squad.
My England XI
1. Alastair Cook - Needs runs in all formats, but his place in the Test side is not under threat. Fortunate to remain captain.
2. Sam Robson - Scored heavily last season and in the winter. Should have come into the side at Adelaide during the winter when Jonathan Trott went home.
3. Nick Compton - Would not make for the most exciting top three, but could mirror the Strauss-Cook-Trott axis which set-up many series wins. With Trott unavailable, Compton is the best replacement and has an appetite for batting long.
4. Ian Bell - In my view, he should be captain. Wants to bat at 4 and will look to continue his excellent early-season form.
5. Gary Ballance - ODI struggles aside, his first-class record in the last 12 months means he deserves his place.
6. Ben Stokes - Just back from injury, but if he's fit then he should be in. Just like Prior and Broad who have been fast-tracked back in.
7. Matt Prior - A difficult 2013 but he still maintains an average of 40 in the longer format and is a normally reliable keeper. Possibly under-estimated just how important he is to England.
8. Chris Jordan - Has proved himself to be ready for international cricket and has shown the necessary red-ball form as well. Important to have bowlers who can bat.
9. Stuart Broad - Did not receive enough credit for his Ashes performance and has outshone Anderson for the past year.
10. James Anderson - A few mutterings that Jimmy was no longer undroppable. With few stand-out alternatives to come in, and a strong start to the season, let's hope an Easter break will see him back to top form.
11. Simon Kerrigan - With Monty Panesar clearly out of favour, Kerrigan is England's best spinner and deserves another go.
The Rest
Chris Woakes - Another who has suffered the Kerrigan treatment of being judged from one Test match. Consistently one of the best bowlers in the country and a very good bat. Deserves his place in the side even if it is just for one Test.
Jos Buttler - I'm not a fan of using ODI performances when it comes to picking the Test team. The benefit of bringing players like Buttler, Jordan and Stokes into the limited-overs side is to see if they have the bottle for international cricket. All three have proven that they do. Now, it is time for Buttler to take a step away from the limelight and work on his first-class batting and wicket-keeping. That way, should Prior suffer injury or another loss of form, he will be ready for the challenge.
Moeen Ali - Has played well and deserved his place, but too much of a bits-and-pieces cricketer for my liking. Appears to be a second spinner and decent batsman, but long-term England will be better off with a man who can consistently dismiss international players. Will be interesting to see how Moeen bowls should he be picked.
Liam Plunkett - Apparently picking former England wicket-keepers is going back in time, but picking a seamer who has not played a Test for seven years is ok. Plunkett has been possibly the stand-out pace bowler in county cricket this season. He was bowling late-80s in a televised game against Durham and is getting his wickets through hostile bowling in a manner reminiscent of a certain left-handed Australian.
Still, I would like to see Plunkett given another month of county cricket to see if he can retain this form and allow Broad to be England's enforcer. If Plunkett can continue the way he is playing then unleashing him on the Indian batsmen could be fun to watch.
Joe Root - Australia clearly fancied their chances against Root, who struggled for the majority of the two Ashes series. Shunted around the order, he deserves sympathy. But watching him tell himself against Sri Lanka to get his front-foot forward, and having seen him trapped lbw for Yorkshire on at least a couple of occasions this season, it appears that he is not fully at ease with his game.
That is no surprise, as few Test batsmen have a perfect technique, but with few early season runs to go by, it might be wise to see him work on these issues in a confident Yorkshire side. There's no point scoring well against two of the weaker attacks in world cricket this summer only to suffer the same issues when he faces New Zealand and Australia in 2015.
One thing to beware
Stuart Broad plays in all formats. He bowls, bats and captains the Twenty20 team. He proved in the winter that, aged 27, he has reached his prime with the ball and could one day captain England in more than one format.
It is a worry, therefore, that he has suffered with tendonitis in his right knee and will most likely need surgery at the end of the season. His county coach (and England selector) Mick Newell believes he should give up the 20-over game to protect himself from injury.
The worry with Broad is that he has played international cricket since 2006, which for bowlers on that never-ending treadmill is a long-time. In that period he has played 231 international matches.
His body has broken down before, and with England playing five Tests against India inside six weeks over July and August, he will face a huge physical challenge.
Broad grew up idolising Glenn McGrath and struggled to know how he should bowl in the Test side. Originally billed as a McGrath clone who could bowl a consistent line and length, his pace and aggression often saw him bowl too short a length, before making the necessary changes later on in his career.
In the week that Andrew Flintoff announced his return to competitive cricket, it's important to make sure the man who was billed as Freddie's heir following the 2009 Ashes does not fade so badly through the strain on his body.
Flintoff was famed for his huge bowling efforts; five times he bowled 50 overs or more in a Test match. Against Sri Lanka as captain, he ploughed through 51 in a single innings, such was his desire to win.
Broad, by contrast, has only reached that number of overs twice, both times coming in 2012. However, based in a four-man attack for the vast majority of his 67 Tests, he has had to bowl a large amount of overs.
With Ben Stokes' emergence allowing for five bowlers, it is time to let someone else put in the long overs. Broad can bowl a similar pace to Mitchell Johnson and from a good height. He has an ability to run through a team in a session and change the course of a match.
At an age where he is at his peak, when England need its senior players to lead, with an injury that needs managing, and with a schedule that will punish his body, it's time to make Broad our strike bowler.
And finally...
Cook, Bell, Root, Ballance. England's top four in ODIs. It was Peter Moores' first series so let's call it a watch-and-learn period. But as everyone in the media is telling him, things have to change.
Sunday, 18 May 2014
Forget the cup, Arsenal blew it
128 days Arsenal led in the Premier League, yet still they came nowhere near to winning it. They had the perfect chance as well. Chelsea, Manchester City and, of course, Manchester United, changed their managers, while Liverpool finished the season before in 7th place, 12 points behind the Gunners and 28 points off top.
Chelsea spent the entire season without a world-class striker and sold Juan Mata, their player of the years for the past two years, in January. City took four points from their first five away matches and were eighth after the first 11 games of the season.
United, well, there is nothing to say there that hasn't been pointed out all season.
Arsene Wenger had as long as he wanted to plan for this season. He didn't come in during the summer and have to find his feet under the table. He knew which players were good enough, which were not, and where he needed to strengthen. He did not have a new chief executive to work with.
Yet, while Manchester City moved quickly to secure their targets and have a settled squad, he waited until after an opening day defeat at home to Aston Villa to make his move and buy Mesut Ozil. For whatever reason (supposedly Real Madrid raising the cost) Arsenal did not sign Gonzalo Higuain and they did not follow through on trying to sign Luis Suarez, a world class player with Premier League pedigree who sounded unsettled at his club.
Ozil did, however, boost the side and lifted them to the top of the table. Going into the New Year, every team had played half their fixtures and Arsenal were top. Admittedly, they were only one point above City and two above Chelsea, but they were there and ready for a title challenge.
But that charge never came. It was common knowledge that they had a horror run of fixtures coming up in February, with Bayern Munich in the Champions League, Liverpool in the FA Cup and several top six sides in the Premier League.
I know everyone thinks they could manage a football side, but there was a reason Wenger was urged to spend some money. He had one main striker in Olivier Giroud, who is good but not great, and very little else. Aaron Ramsey injured himself on Boxing Day against West Ham and was not set for an immediate return. But as is common at the Emirates, the cheque book stayed shut and only Kim Kallstrom came in on loan, before promptly injuring himself.
As expected, Arsenal floundered. In a run of 11 games starting away at Southampton on January 28 and ending at Everton on April 6, they won three and took just 13 points. They conceded four against Everton, five against Liverpool and six against Chelsea.
When the tough run ended, they won their final five matches to seal fourth place, but all that means is another nervy Champions League qualifier soon after the World Cup ends.
The FA Cup is a great competition and one which all clubs should target. Personally, I prefer it to the Champions League even though that puts in me a vast minority. Arsenal fans should celebrate their side's achievement and bask in Wembley success.
But a domestic cup win is not what sets Arsenal apart from the rest. It doesn't set them apart from Swansea and Birmingham in recent years. They are meant to be an elite club, winners of the Premier League and Champions League which differentiates the brilliant sides from those in the aspiring tier just below (think Tottenham and Everton) and of course all others below them in the football pyramid.
If Arsenal are part of the elite, then they need to start becoming realistic challenges for the top two prizes and not a side content with third/fourth in the league (where they have been in the last nine seasons) or last 16/quarter-finals of the Champions League (where they have been knocked out in the seven of the least eight seasons).
Wenger has seen Liverpool overtake his side. He has seen his gifts of moulding a winning outfit without recourse to heavy spending usurped by Jurgen Klopp at Borussia Dortmund and Diego Simeone at Atletico Madrid.
It shows that top dollar doesn't always need to be spent to become winners, but quality needs to be brought into the club. This summer will prove if Arsenal will do a City and use a cup win to propel them to league glory. It's hard to escape the feeling, though, that this year was their great chance and they have blown it.
Still, the FA Cup is a worthy prize and one to be savoured over the summer.
Cup never lost its magic
The suggestion that the FA Cup has lost/regained its magic is up there with Golden Generation and Special Relationship as one of the most frustrating catchphrases.
The cup never lost its magic in the first place. Sure, it is not the grand event it used to be when cup final day was a huge event with the build-up beginning in the morning. It's lost some lustre due to managers prioritising Premier League riches and the Champions League which is fine, as both provide rich entertainment.
But it still remains massively relevant to the supporters. Whether it's a non-league side taking on a vastly superior team on their boggy pitch with the fans practically on top of the players, third round day where upsets appear to be happening everywhere, or your side charging towards a date with Wembley, there is something special about it.
Some clubs will send out fringe players for the early rounds, and low-key matches will be poorly attended, but these can be ignored.
Every year brings great stories, memorable matches where both teams throw hell to leather, upsets, surprise runs, big clashes, and just occasionally you have a Havant and Waterlooville moment where they twice take the lead at Anfield.
Even stupid decisions like playing the semi-finals at Wembley and moving the kick-off to 5pm can't knock the FA Cup off its pedestal.
Roy's mistake
I know it was a one-off game - albeit a huge one - but Curtis Davies made the decision to take both Phil Jones and Chris Smalling to the World Cup seem a daft one. From what I've seen this season, which will not be as much as many others, both have been terrible. Every time I've seen Jones play, I wonder how this is the same player likened to Franco Baresi and Duncan Edwards, which is disappointing as he and Smalling were excellent in a central defensive partnership at the 2011 European Under-21 Championships.
I'm not saying Davies deserves to go instead, but to take both Jones and Smalling only confirms many people's thoughts that players from big clubs are automatically picked over better rivals. Let's hope if either features in the World Cup, they show their undoubted potential and leave their club form at home.
World Cup woes
The deadline for hosting the 2022 Commonwealth Games passed in March this year, and for a long time it appeared that there no city would put itself forward. In the end, Canadian city Edmonton and Durban in South Africa both registered late interest, but the episode proved a point.
With the cost of hosting any big global event now sky-rocketing, it's becoming less enticing for governments to put their countries forward.
They will see that the Sochi Winter Olympics this year cost $51 billion and wonder whether it was worth it.
The World Cup is threatening to go the same way as the Commonwealths, with nobody wanting to touch it. Fifa want to take it around the globe, but the need to spend heavy on new stadiums which will become desolate afterwards is not appealing.
Even a country like Brazil, which takes its football incredibly seriously, is protesting at the cost at a time when corruption and poor living standards are of far bigger concern. Legendary striker Romario, now a politician in his home country, has heavily criticised the cost of hosting the tournament with Brazil struggling to get its infrastructure in place for the opening kick-off.
Meanwhile, the controversy over Qatar hosting the 2022 version continues to rumble. Allegations of corruption have dogged the decision since it was made and there is anger at the late call to switch the World Cup from the summer to the winter.
The government, obviously seeking to boost Qatar's profile, must be dismayed at the negative publicity. The reports of shoddy labour laws in the country by The Guardian have even forced them to make a change, although the final result may not be much of an improvement.
With Fifa showing an aversion to the UK and other well-established sporting nations, they might find at some point that nobody will be willing to host the greatest sporting event on the planet.
Privacy should be respected
Richard Scudamore is under increasing pressure to step down as Premier League chief executive after emails were released which showed a number of derogatory terms used about women.
These emails were crude, but importantly, they were not meant for public consumption. In public, Scudamore has, as far as I'm aware, said nothing derogatory about the women's game. In fact, even in his emails there is no suggestion of female inferiority in football.
This is not to defend what Scudamore said, but I think in the majority of cases it is wrong to take someone's private conversations and use them against that person. Obviously, there are times where it is necessary. The News of the World's Fake Sheikh was the perfect example of investigative journalism, and Vince Cable's assertion that he had 'declared war' on Rupert Murdoch's attempted takeover of BSkyB was highly relevant to report as he was in charge of whether the decision could be approved or not.
This is not the same, though. People are completely different in private to what they show in public. Professionals have to portray a scandal-free image of themselves, which is why anything controversial written on social media gets leaped upon so quickly.
The context is important as well. What you say to your friends you wouldn't say to a stranger. Scudamore is the top man at the Premier League and as such has to be careful with everything he says and does. But that does not mean he cannot speak freely when away from his job, just like everyone else does. Most people's texts and private messages would probably reveal information which, if made public, would cause huge embarrassment. But they say these things anyway because they expect them to remain hidden.
The way things are going, we will soon live in a police state like in North Korea where any dissent from accepted comment makes you an enemy. So, unless Scudamore says something which directly contradicts his role within football, then his private comments should stay where they belong.
Chelsea spent the entire season without a world-class striker and sold Juan Mata, their player of the years for the past two years, in January. City took four points from their first five away matches and were eighth after the first 11 games of the season.
United, well, there is nothing to say there that hasn't been pointed out all season.
Arsene Wenger had as long as he wanted to plan for this season. He didn't come in during the summer and have to find his feet under the table. He knew which players were good enough, which were not, and where he needed to strengthen. He did not have a new chief executive to work with.
Yet, while Manchester City moved quickly to secure their targets and have a settled squad, he waited until after an opening day defeat at home to Aston Villa to make his move and buy Mesut Ozil. For whatever reason (supposedly Real Madrid raising the cost) Arsenal did not sign Gonzalo Higuain and they did not follow through on trying to sign Luis Suarez, a world class player with Premier League pedigree who sounded unsettled at his club.
Ozil did, however, boost the side and lifted them to the top of the table. Going into the New Year, every team had played half their fixtures and Arsenal were top. Admittedly, they were only one point above City and two above Chelsea, but they were there and ready for a title challenge.
But that charge never came. It was common knowledge that they had a horror run of fixtures coming up in February, with Bayern Munich in the Champions League, Liverpool in the FA Cup and several top six sides in the Premier League.
I know everyone thinks they could manage a football side, but there was a reason Wenger was urged to spend some money. He had one main striker in Olivier Giroud, who is good but not great, and very little else. Aaron Ramsey injured himself on Boxing Day against West Ham and was not set for an immediate return. But as is common at the Emirates, the cheque book stayed shut and only Kim Kallstrom came in on loan, before promptly injuring himself.
As expected, Arsenal floundered. In a run of 11 games starting away at Southampton on January 28 and ending at Everton on April 6, they won three and took just 13 points. They conceded four against Everton, five against Liverpool and six against Chelsea.
When the tough run ended, they won their final five matches to seal fourth place, but all that means is another nervy Champions League qualifier soon after the World Cup ends.
The FA Cup is a great competition and one which all clubs should target. Personally, I prefer it to the Champions League even though that puts in me a vast minority. Arsenal fans should celebrate their side's achievement and bask in Wembley success.
But a domestic cup win is not what sets Arsenal apart from the rest. It doesn't set them apart from Swansea and Birmingham in recent years. They are meant to be an elite club, winners of the Premier League and Champions League which differentiates the brilliant sides from those in the aspiring tier just below (think Tottenham and Everton) and of course all others below them in the football pyramid.
If Arsenal are part of the elite, then they need to start becoming realistic challenges for the top two prizes and not a side content with third/fourth in the league (where they have been in the last nine seasons) or last 16/quarter-finals of the Champions League (where they have been knocked out in the seven of the least eight seasons).
Wenger has seen Liverpool overtake his side. He has seen his gifts of moulding a winning outfit without recourse to heavy spending usurped by Jurgen Klopp at Borussia Dortmund and Diego Simeone at Atletico Madrid.
It shows that top dollar doesn't always need to be spent to become winners, but quality needs to be brought into the club. This summer will prove if Arsenal will do a City and use a cup win to propel them to league glory. It's hard to escape the feeling, though, that this year was their great chance and they have blown it.
Still, the FA Cup is a worthy prize and one to be savoured over the summer.
Cup never lost its magic
The suggestion that the FA Cup has lost/regained its magic is up there with Golden Generation and Special Relationship as one of the most frustrating catchphrases.
The cup never lost its magic in the first place. Sure, it is not the grand event it used to be when cup final day was a huge event with the build-up beginning in the morning. It's lost some lustre due to managers prioritising Premier League riches and the Champions League which is fine, as both provide rich entertainment.
But it still remains massively relevant to the supporters. Whether it's a non-league side taking on a vastly superior team on their boggy pitch with the fans practically on top of the players, third round day where upsets appear to be happening everywhere, or your side charging towards a date with Wembley, there is something special about it.
Some clubs will send out fringe players for the early rounds, and low-key matches will be poorly attended, but these can be ignored.
Every year brings great stories, memorable matches where both teams throw hell to leather, upsets, surprise runs, big clashes, and just occasionally you have a Havant and Waterlooville moment where they twice take the lead at Anfield.
Even stupid decisions like playing the semi-finals at Wembley and moving the kick-off to 5pm can't knock the FA Cup off its pedestal.
Roy's mistake
I know it was a one-off game - albeit a huge one - but Curtis Davies made the decision to take both Phil Jones and Chris Smalling to the World Cup seem a daft one. From what I've seen this season, which will not be as much as many others, both have been terrible. Every time I've seen Jones play, I wonder how this is the same player likened to Franco Baresi and Duncan Edwards, which is disappointing as he and Smalling were excellent in a central defensive partnership at the 2011 European Under-21 Championships.
I'm not saying Davies deserves to go instead, but to take both Jones and Smalling only confirms many people's thoughts that players from big clubs are automatically picked over better rivals. Let's hope if either features in the World Cup, they show their undoubted potential and leave their club form at home.
World Cup woes
The deadline for hosting the 2022 Commonwealth Games passed in March this year, and for a long time it appeared that there no city would put itself forward. In the end, Canadian city Edmonton and Durban in South Africa both registered late interest, but the episode proved a point.
With the cost of hosting any big global event now sky-rocketing, it's becoming less enticing for governments to put their countries forward.
They will see that the Sochi Winter Olympics this year cost $51 billion and wonder whether it was worth it.
The World Cup is threatening to go the same way as the Commonwealths, with nobody wanting to touch it. Fifa want to take it around the globe, but the need to spend heavy on new stadiums which will become desolate afterwards is not appealing.
Even a country like Brazil, which takes its football incredibly seriously, is protesting at the cost at a time when corruption and poor living standards are of far bigger concern. Legendary striker Romario, now a politician in his home country, has heavily criticised the cost of hosting the tournament with Brazil struggling to get its infrastructure in place for the opening kick-off.
Meanwhile, the controversy over Qatar hosting the 2022 version continues to rumble. Allegations of corruption have dogged the decision since it was made and there is anger at the late call to switch the World Cup from the summer to the winter.
The government, obviously seeking to boost Qatar's profile, must be dismayed at the negative publicity. The reports of shoddy labour laws in the country by The Guardian have even forced them to make a change, although the final result may not be much of an improvement.
With Fifa showing an aversion to the UK and other well-established sporting nations, they might find at some point that nobody will be willing to host the greatest sporting event on the planet.
Privacy should be respected
Richard Scudamore is under increasing pressure to step down as Premier League chief executive after emails were released which showed a number of derogatory terms used about women.
These emails were crude, but importantly, they were not meant for public consumption. In public, Scudamore has, as far as I'm aware, said nothing derogatory about the women's game. In fact, even in his emails there is no suggestion of female inferiority in football.
This is not to defend what Scudamore said, but I think in the majority of cases it is wrong to take someone's private conversations and use them against that person. Obviously, there are times where it is necessary. The News of the World's Fake Sheikh was the perfect example of investigative journalism, and Vince Cable's assertion that he had 'declared war' on Rupert Murdoch's attempted takeover of BSkyB was highly relevant to report as he was in charge of whether the decision could be approved or not.
This is not the same, though. People are completely different in private to what they show in public. Professionals have to portray a scandal-free image of themselves, which is why anything controversial written on social media gets leaped upon so quickly.
The context is important as well. What you say to your friends you wouldn't say to a stranger. Scudamore is the top man at the Premier League and as such has to be careful with everything he says and does. But that does not mean he cannot speak freely when away from his job, just like everyone else does. Most people's texts and private messages would probably reveal information which, if made public, would cause huge embarrassment. But they say these things anyway because they expect them to remain hidden.
The way things are going, we will soon live in a police state like in North Korea where any dissent from accepted comment makes you an enemy. So, unless Scudamore says something which directly contradicts his role within football, then his private comments should stay where they belong.
Wednesday, 14 May 2014
Complacent parties caught kipping
It continually feels like British politics is its very own
Game of Thrones. Except without soldiers and war, we have pollsters and spin
doctors.
Sometimes, though, it’s more like The Hunger Games, where
the Westminster elite feast in excess while the rest of us are left to look on
and despair.
Ok, that’s enough of my love of fantasy – of the film and TV
variety that is, not whips and chains – but there was a point in there.
You only have to look at last week’s episode of Question
Time to see the point. On the panel was Conservative party chairman Grant
Shapps who I’m sure by accident carries an air of superiority over those around
him.
Accompanying him was Labour’s shadow business secretary
Chuka Umunna, a man who is baby-bottom smooth but also someone who appears to
have no problem with allowing his Wikipedia page to be changed so that it
compares him to Barack Obama.
These well-spoken Westminster politicians were fronted by an
audience who live in the real world. For years they have been patronised by
ministers and MPs who do not believe they can handle strong opinion or honest
debate.
The centre ground is the safe ground where David Cameron
and Tony Blair hid out. Anyone who dares to act outside this safe ground is deemed dangerous.
Cuts, by their very nature, are automatically swingeing. It is often remarked
that even Maggie Thatcher had never gone so far as this coalition government.
Commons’ debates descend into pissing contests and a stage
to see which leader has the best gag writer. It’s cheap politics, full of
gimmicks and petty points-scoring as both sides trade childish insults and
triumphantly declare victory over their opposite numbers. In terms of
relevance, these trade-offs must rank alongside the Anglo-Italian cup.
These are the same people, remember, who stole from us
through expenses. Many of those at the top are the ones who play the Game of
Thrones the best, sucking up to the party hierarchy to earn promotion and
failing to offer any thought which does not feel like it has been vetted by
legal minds in case it might somehow cause an unflattering headline.
You only have to read any political journalist to hear of
the squabbling, back-stabbing, power struggles and leaks between rival factions
to wonder how any policies ever get put forward.
Meanwhile, the rest of us get on with our lives. The
hard-working poor suffer through inadequate wages and live in fear that bad
health or legal difficulties could cripple them financially.
They suffer through the very real cost of living
difficulties (not that Labour can say much with their record in government) and
have to watch the rich and privileged Cameron and George Osborne triumphantly
taunt their opposite numbers over the fact the economy isn’t quite as crap as
it was a few months earlier.
So it’s no wonder that many turn to Ukip. A country which
resisted turning to fascism or communism in the 30s, unlike many in Europe, is
looking to stick the knife into the three main parties.
Ukip is a phenomenon, although whether it continues to be
relevant will be a tough test of the leadership when it comes to writing its
manifesto for next year’s general election.
Ukip is not some right-wing, anti-government party like the
Tea Party in America. Defining Ukip is difficult, but one moment offers a clue
as to why its popularity continues to grow.
A recent Guardian article was put up documenting 10 reasons
not to vote Ukip. It was terrifically researched and I was sure the commenters
would be joining the writer in abusing those hapless, out-of-touch racists.
But to my surprise they instead turned their ire on the
writer. Back off Ukip was the cry, just as it was on the comments sections on
the Mail, Express, Times and Independent websites.
One of its candidates wants Lenny Henry to leave the
country. So what? Who cares? I’m voting Ukip anyway.
One of its candidates defends slavery. No matter, I’ll
still vote Ukip.
The people are fed up. They are fed up of being treated as
kids. They are at their teenage rebellion stage and they are enjoying watching
the grown-up parties squirm.
Cameron in particular is feeling the heat. Handicapped by
election boundaries and necessary cuts which extend Labour a huge advantage, he
has been bullied into negotiating a tougher position on Europe and promising a
referendum in 2017. Although since the chances of the Conservatives winning a
majority is slim, he will either not be afforded the chance or will do little
in terms of renegotiating the UK’s continued membership.
A week ago I put together an article on the EU, using
conversations with Jackie Minor – the EU’s representative to the UK – and
Gawain Towler, a Ukip MEP candidate and party spokesman.
Both were interesting for different reasons. Minor calmly
and assuredly put forward many reasons why the UK benefitted from EU
membership, including: increased trade, research funding and reduced roaming
charges.
Towler, who had no idea of my name and had no inclination he
would be meeting me, gave 30 minutes of impassioned, quote-worthy material
before walking off and half-joking that he had probably said something really
controversial.
He said he grew up in Germany, his parents lived in France
and he liked Europe, but he wanted to be governed at home. He lambasted media
coverage on Ukip. He talked enthusiastically of the differences in campaigning
now compared to the same election five years ago.
He laughed at mention of his
party’s 2010 manifesto and said it should be kept as an historical monument to
be enjoyed in many years’ time. He even candidly stated that now they were much
more in the public spotlight, Ukip would engage more thoroughly in the
policy-making process in Europe.
Towler was loving life. He was glad to see racists exposed
and kicked-out, but he didn’t want his candidates censured. If the public don’t
like that person then they won’t vote for him or her was his verdict.
Ukip might have the appearance of a working men’s club, but
the unpopularity of the main parties means they have time to reform. Young and
minority candidates are being integrated. The next general election manifesto is
being taken deadly seriously with auditors brought in to make sure it adds up
properly.
In the meantime, their European prospects continue to grow
and the anti-establishment crowd loves it. They see broken promises, gimmicks
like all-women shortlists or friends of the party leadership pushed into safe
seats nowhere near where they live. Then they see Ukip and people who speak the
same way as they do and without fear of political correctness.
The fact they seem to have fewer policies than racist
members is not an issue. Just as long as they can vote for the party of Nigel
Farage and not the one of Cameron or Ed Miliband whose every movements appear
stage-managed to garner votes.
Farage is, remember, the man promising a referendum. Ever
since I can remember we have been demanding a say on our EU membership, but
politicians seem to think they know better. Sovereignty has ebbed away, budgets
continually expanded and our borders thrown open, but we are always better in
we are told. Westminster knows best after all.
An economic market has evolved into a super state where
power lies in the unaccountable and expensive politicians. And it is only thanks to Ukip’s pressure that we are
learning more about what EU membership means. It turns out that there are many
benefits, but the effect of uncontrolled immigration brings many sets of
problems.
Boris Johnson said that more than 42,000 homes need to be
built in London every year for the next 20 years. Social housing waiting lists
are long and the number of households living in temporary accommodation is
rising.
The argument of foreigners coming in and taking our jobs – a
line cynically taken by Ukip – is partly true, but most are skilled workers or
taking jobs we would not do ourselves. Regardless, the strain on resources is not
going to get better any time soon.
Europe is an extremely complex topic to get your head around
and the exaggerated claims, overuse of statistics and misleading comments
brought out in the debates between Farage and Nick Clegg does not help to
clarify how it operates.
We will find out in a few weeks whether the Ukip bubble will
burst or not. A win in the European polls, gains in local elections and a
sitting MP in Newark are all goals and each would continue the momentum.
Stutter now, though, and the chance of causing Cameron a
bloody nose in 12 months’ time looks unrealistic.
Nevertheless, Ukip’s rise has stirred something in the
political ocean. It’s asked questions, focussed minds and made some raise their game. Farage may not deserve a full platform in next year’s
debates, but he has earned his moment in the sun.
And, you know what, I know Ukip are a populist party with
few policies and too many candidates holding questionable and at times awful
views. I know they resemble a pub team who have suddenly had to play in the
professional ranks and are not ready for their new, elevated level.
Yes, they are the laziest MEPs in the European Parliament.
I’m sure there are hundreds of other reasons people could
throw at me for ignoring Ukip and in the time you've read this something else has kicked off. But I don’t care. I have no faith in the main
parties and it’s only when facing intense media scrutiny that they tend to act on any
wrong-doing.
I am suitably annoyed and fed up in the system we have now,
and so unimpressed with what we are being offered, that I have no shame in
admitting that I want to see what the alternative has to offer. When it comes
to Europe, I will be voting Ukip.
I want a say on our relationship with Europe and if that
makes me a fruitcake, loony or racist then so be it.
None of those would be the worst thing I’ve been called…
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