Fab Feb

Being single on Valentine's Day is like being a Jew on Christmas day. Fortunately, both of those are out the way for another 10 months and attention can now be put on important matters like non-stop sport.

"Football. FOOTBALL!" I hear you cry like the mad Italian from that advert, although I can't think of any big club competition which restarts this week. Ah wait, the Europa League that's it, the pinnacle of European football where teams actively try and avoid being forced to enter.

Although cup football has betrayed me today (kimmed by the referee) there is always the excitement of the Shampions League as Schteve McClaren christened it, before he messed up Forest and turned Derby into contenders for automatic promotion to the Premier League. I'm not sure what's worse: the prospect of Leicester and Derby getting promotion ahead of Forest or Derby knocking us out of the play-offs with McClaren (brolly in hand) doing a Mourinho-esque touchline slide and unveiling a t-shirt with the names of all the players he bought in his time at the City Ground who were given enormous wages and couldn't be forced out once he buggered off.

Still, at least we have recollections of Derby's last stint in the Premier League to cheer us up when things go tits up in the near future. I'm desperately hoping Taylor Swift has a new album out in the next couple of months for when the inevitable season-ending failure comes about.

Anyway, enough of that, let's take a look at the events coming in the next few weeks which will keep us salivating well into the night:

Shampions League

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, so after a three-month hiatus football fans will be pining for the return of the Champions League like a celibate Charlie Sheen walking into the playboy mansion. Although it should be pointed out Sheen recently became engaged to a pornstar so that scenario is unlikely to happen.

The fixtures do not disappoint, with Manchester City-Barcelona a welcome start. With Sergio Aguero fit I would have heavily tipped City, but even without him I would just lean towards them to progress. Barcelona look defensively vulnerable like they did last season and a powerful team like City can bully them like Bayern did so brutally last season.

Jack Rodwell has clearly been rested all season to save him for these games so he will be primed, and James Milner will take time out from his exhilarating Twitter account to put in a big shift as Mick McCarthy would say.

Rumours are abounding that City have asked Manchester United to send Ashley Young over for training in preparation for facing Pedro, Neymar, Busquets and Dani Alves.

Overall, the eight ties are like a box of Celebrations. Without wishing to go all Forrest Gump, you have the Galaxy of the tie at the Etihad and, say, the Galaxy Caramel at the Emirates (sorry but I love Galaxy).

The Leverkusen-PSG match-up is perhaps the Bounty of the line-up - nothing wrong with it, but pales into comparison with the alternatives out there.

Speaking of the Emirates, having put on hold their seemingly inevitable collapse, Arsenal will welcome back Olivier Giroud who ITV helpfully pointed out on Twitter enjoys playing away from home. They come up against Thiago who recently had the most touches in a Bundesliga match since records began. Not to mention the terrifically named Lahm and a few other average players who would crap their pants on a Tuesday night in Stoke. Nevermind their record of played 21, won 19, drawn 2 this season.

As someone who has always liked Arsenal there are conflicting emotions. There is the hope that they can win something, but at the same there is great joy in watching another collapse after Wenger refused to spend in January.

On a similar theme, watching United fans who have had 20+ years of continued success moan after one bad season is even more enjoyable. As someone who respects David Moyes, I'm hoping they knock out Olympiakos so they have some credibility in this year's competition, but nothing moe.

Perversely, a Didier Drogba winner for Galatasaray against Chelsea would be greatly appreciated. Just to get Jose off his high horse (sorry).

A potential quarter-final line-up of: Madrid, Bayern, PSG, Dortmund, United, Chelsea, City/Barca, Atletico would have me moister than Mitchell Johnson at the sight of a tail-ender walking out to bat.

Cricket

Speaking of Mitch, even though I want to see Australia struggle it's hard to begrudge him his success after all the abuse and toil he suffered. Sporting redemption is a powerful draw and what Mitch is doing is bordering on the ridiculous.

As for South Africa, their team selection was all wrong in the first Test. Robin Peterson and Ryan McClaren were never going to do much against a team as buoyant as the Aussies. Dean Elgar and Kyle Abbott have to come in. The same Abbott who had match figures of 9/68 on his only Test and averages 22 in first-class cricket.

In New Zealand, a cracking series is going on between the hosts and India. The ebb and flow has been ridiculous, with huge momentum switches taking place. New Zealand have the better bowlers and India the better batsmen, so a good battle is guaranteed each innings.

New Zealand have so far hit scores of 503, 105, 192 and are currently 252/5 having been 94/5. India nearly overcame a 300-run deficit to win the first Test and with a lead of over 240 this time around there is a chance they can lose. Good pitches, good weather, two evenly-matches teams. What a contest.

6 Nations

The only sport which seems harder to win away from home than cricket is rugby union. Teams reach new levels at their own grounds and can smash the opposition to pieces. England against New Zealand and Wales against England come to mind, but Ireland can race through the gears when they want to.

The next month should offer some close-fought contests and hopefully more Paul Hayward-inspired articles that they should consider throwing Scotland out of the competition.

Elsewhere

Matchplay golf in America, Premier League darts and Forest getting nobbed by the Championship's top-two. I hope to be proved very wrong.

And it's not like Leeds are on TV next two weekends, making the season's tally about 20. You'd think they were a top-two side...